Undefeateds & Defeateds – Week 5

Posted: September 25, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Defeated, Mismatches, Undefeated, Winless | Leave a comment »

There are 30 fewer undefeated and 28 fewer winless teams than last week. How many of the mighty will fall in Week 5? How many of the meek will rise? As a great band sings, only time will tell.

Undefeated (125 – 155 last week without CIS)

FBS (27; 31 last week)

Alabama, Baylor, Cincinnati, Florida, Florida State, Georgia, Iowa State, Kansas State, Louisiana Tech, Louisville, LSU, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Ohio, Ohio State, Oregon, Oregon State, Rutgers, South Carolina, Stanford, TCU, Texas, Texas Tech, Texas-San Antonio, West Virginia

FCS (15; 20 last week)

Alabama A&M, Cal Poly, Dartmouth, Delaware, Harvard, Illinois State, Lafayette, Lehigh, Montana State, North Dakota State, Old Dominion, Samford, Tennessee State, Wofford, Youngstown State

D-II (25; 38 last week)

Ashland, Bentley, Bloomsburg, California (PA), CSU-Pueblo, Emporia State, Grand Valley State, Harding, Henderson State, Humboldt State, Michigan Tech, Minnesota State, Minnesota-Duluth, Missouri S&T, Missouri Western, New Haven, Newberry, Northwood, Ouachita Baptist, Pittsburg State, Shippensburg, Sioux Falls, Southern Arkansas, Tuskegee, Winston-Salem

D-III (43; 52 last week)

Amherst, Ausburg, Baldwin-Wallace, Bethel (MN), Birmingham-Southern, Bridgewater (VA), Carnegie Mellon, Coe, Concordia (IL), Concordia (Moorhead, MN), Elmhurst, Emory & Henry, Gettysburg, Heidelberg, Hobart, Illinois College, Illinois Wesleyan, Ithaca, Johns Hopkins, Lewis & Clark, Linfield, Mary Hardin-Baylor, Middlebury, Millikin, Millsaps, Mount Union, Norwich, Ohio Wesleyan, Otterbein, RPI, Salve Regina, St. John Fisher, St. Thomas (MN), Trinity (CT), Waynesburg, Wesleyan, Whitworth, Widener, Willamette, Williams, Wisconsin-Oshkosh, Wisconsin-Platteville, Wittenberg

NAIA (11; 14 last week)

Benedictine (KS), Cumberlands (KY), Dakota Wesleyan, Georgetown (KY), Hastings, Marian, Missouri Valley, Morningside, St. Ambrose, St. Xavier, William Penn

CIS (4; not listed last week)

Calgary, Laval, McMaster, Montreal

Winless (122 – 150 last week without CIS)

FBS (9; 13 last week)

Army, Eastern Michigan, Houston, Idaho, Massachusetts, Memphis, Southern Miss, Tulane, UAB

FCS (21; 28 last week)

Austin Peay, Bryant, Central Connecticut State, Davidson, Gardner-Webb, Georgia State, Grambling State, Hampton, Holy Cross, Liberty, Missouri State, Penn, Prairie View A&M, Princeton, Rhode Island, Robert Morris (PA), Sacred Heart, Savannah State, Valparaiso, Weber State, William & Mary

D-II (27; 38 last week)

Azusa Pacific, Benedict, Black Hills State, Brevard, Fort Hays State, Fort Lewis, Lake Erie, Lincoln (MO), Lincoln (PA), Lock Haven, Malone, McKendree, Minnesota State-Moorhead, Minot State, Nebraska-Kearney, North Greenville, Northeastern State, NW Oklahoma State, Pace, Quincy, Saint Anselm, Seton Hill, South Dakota Mines, Southern Connecticut, Southern Nazarene, Texas A&M-Commerce, Western State

D-III (45; 51 last week)

Alma, Anderson (IN), Averett, Bates, Beloit, Bethany (WV), Bowdoin, Buena Vista, Claremont-Mudd-Scrips, Colby, DePauw, Earlham, Geneva, Hamilton, Hiram, Howard Payne, Knox, La Verne, LaGrange, Lakeland, Luther, MacMurray, Maine Maritime, Manchester, Maranatha, Marietta, McDaniel, Misericordia, Morrisville State, Muskingum, Nichols College, Occidental, Olivet, Pomona-Pitzer, Puget Sound, Redlands, Ripon, St. Lawrence, St. Vincent, Stevenson, Tufts, Western Connecticut, Wilmington, Wisconsin-Eau Claire, Wisconsin-River Falls

NAIA (16; 20 last week)

Avila, Bethel (KS), Bluefield (VA), Briar Cliff, Campbellsville (KY), Concordia (MI), Culver-Stockton, Dakota State, Dordt, Haskell, Olivet Nazarene, Point, Saint Mary (KS), Sterling, Texas College, Webber International

CIS (4; not listed last week)

Alberta, Ottawa (ON), Saint Mary’s (NS), UBC

Battles of Undefeateds (Record, Point Differential) – [8]

FBS (2)

Texas Tech (3-0, 40.33) @ Iowa State (3-0, 17.33)

Baylor (3-0, 21.67) @ West Virginia (3-0, 25.00)

D-II (1)

Grand Valley State (4-0, 24.50) @ Michigan Tech (3-0, 28.00)

D-III (4)

Bethel (MN) (3-0, 36.00) @ Augsburg (3-0, 15.67)

Trinity (CT) (1-0, 21.00) @ Williams (1-0, 34.00)

Millikin (3-0, 28.67) @ Illinois Wesleyan (3-0, 30.67)

Otterbein (3-0, 24.33) @ Baldwin-Wallace (3-0, 14.33)

NAIA (1)

Dakota Wesleyan (3-0, 13.33) @ Hastings (3-0, 10.33)

Battles of Defeateds (Record, Point Differential) – [14]

FCS (2)

Georgia State (0-4, -27.50) @ William & Mary (0-4, -9.25)

Central Connecticut (0-4, -26.00) @ Sacred Heart (0-3, -12.33)

D-II (2)

Saint Anselm (0-4, -35.50) @ Southern Connecticut (0-4, -14.75)

Black Hills State (0-3, -19.33) @ Western State (0-4, -33.00)

D-III (7)

Stevenson (0-4, -11.00) @ Misericordia (0-4, -53.75)

Wilmington (0-3, -40.33) @ Muskingum (0-3, -25.00)

Alma (0-4, -38.75) @ Olivet (0-4, -27.25)

La Verne (0-2, -35.50) @ Claremont-Mudd-Scripps (0-2, -3.50)

Occidental (0-2, -35.50) @ Redlands (0-2, -20.00)

Bates (0-1, -21.00) @ Tufts (0-1, -21.00)

Knox (0-4, -20.25) @ Ripon (0-4, -16.50)

NAIA (2)

Briar Cliff (0-4, -10.25) @ Dordt (0-4, -27.00)

Saint Mary (KS) (0-4, -10.00) @ Sterling (0-4, -21.25)

CIS (1)

UBC (0-4, -24.00) @ Alberta (0-4, -29.50)

Mismatches – Undefeated vs. Winless (Record, Point Differential) – [21]

FBS (2)

Ohio (4-0, 18.50) @ Massachusetts (0-4, -34.25)

Louisville (4-0, 14.50) @ Southern Miss (0-3, -21.33)

FCS (4)

Lafayette (3-0, 5.33) @ R0bert Morris (PA) (0-3, -27.67)

Grambling State (0-3, -19.33) @ Alabama A&M (4-0, 11.50)

Penn (0-2, 11.50) @ Dartmouth (2-0, 15.50)

Holy Cross (0-3, 9.00) @ Harvard (2-0, 14.50)

D-II (4)

Shippensburg (4-0, 31.75) @ Lock Haven (0-4, -36.00)

CSU-Pueblo (4-0, 16.25) @ Fort Lewis (0-3, -42.00)

Lincoln (MO) (0-4, -25.00) @ Emporia State (4-0, 21,00)

Lake Erie (0-4, -15.50) @ Ashland (4-0, 18.50)

D-III (9)

Marietta (0-3, -20.33) @ Heidelberg (3-0, 45.00)

McDaniel (0-4, -20.75) @ Gettyburg (4-0, 35.75)

Wisconsin-Oshkosh (3-0, 29.67) @ Wisconsin-River Falls (0-3, -18.00)

Amherst (1-0, 24.00) @ Bowdoin (0-1, -24.00)

Middlebury (1-0, 24.00) @ Colby (0-1, -34.00)

Hamilton (0-1, -24.00) @ Wesleyan (CT) (1-0, 21.00)

Buena Vista (0-3, -38.67) @ Coe (3-0, 18.67)

Lewis & Clark (3-0, 15.00) @ Puget Sound (0-3, -24.67)

Hiram (0-4, -27.00) @ Ohio Wesleyan (3-0, 6.00)

NAIA (2)

Olivet Nazarene (0-4, -18.75) @ William Penn (4-0, 33.75)

Culver-Stockton (0-4, -21.25) @ Missouri Valley (4-0, 27.75)

Miscellaneous Notes

All 3 teams who were scoreless after Week 3 (FCS Savannah State, D-II Fort Lewis & D-II Lock Haven) put up their first points of the season. All three lost to remain winless, but are no longer pointless.
Teams getting outscored by more than 40 points per game:
- Misericorda (D-III) – 53.75
- Savannah State (FCS) – 50.33
- Pace (D-II) – 47.00
- Haskell (NAIA) – 45.50
- Fort Lewis (D-II) – 42.00
- South Dakota Mines (D-II) – 41.50
- NW Oklahoma State (D-II) – 41.00
- Wilmington (D-III) – 40.33
Teams outscoring their opponents by more than 40 points per game:
- Widener (D-III) – 59.50
- Mount Union (D-III) – 49.00
- Florida State (FBS) – 46.25
- Wofford (FCS) – 46.00
- Heidelberg (D-III) – 45.00
- North Dakota State (FCS) – 42.00
- Texas Tech (FBS) – 40.33
Winless teams losing by less than 10 points per game:
- Princeton (FCS) – 2.00
- Claremont-Mudd-Scripps (D-III) – 3.50
- Saint Mary’s (NS) (CIS) – 7.33
- Liberty (FCS) – 8.00
- Manchester (D-III) – 8.75
- Holy Cross (FCS) – 9.00
- William & Mary (FCS) – 9.25
Undefeated teams winning by less than 10 points per game:
- Oregon State (FBS) – 5.00
- Lafayette (FCS) – 5.33
- California (PA) (D-II) – 5.75
- Ohio Wesleyan (D-III) – 6.00
- Concordia (IL) (D-III) – 8.33
- Lehigh (FCS) – 9.00
The highest combined point differential in an undefeated matchup this week is 59.33 between D-III Millikin (28.67) @ Illinois Wesleyan (30.67)
The lowest combined point differential in a winless matchup is 66.00 between D-III Alma (-38.75) @ Olivet (-27.25)
The largest mismatch in point differential is 67.75 between D-II Shippensberg (31.75) @ Lock Haven (-36.00)

Last Week’s Battles of Undefeateds (18)

FBS (4)

Clemson @ Florida State

Kansas State @ Oklahoma

Arizona @ Oregon

Oregon State @ UCLA

FCS (1)

Harvard @ Brown

D-II (5)

Indiana (PA) @ California (PA)

Findlay @ Michigan Tech

Adams State @ CSU-Pueblo

Bloomsburg @ LIU-C.W. Post

Carson-Newman @ Newberry

D-III (6)

Carleton (MN) @ Bethel (MN)

Macalester @ Lewis & Clark

Johns Hopkins @ Muhlenberg

Hartwick @ St. John Fisher

Birmingham-Southern @ Rhodes

Chapman @ Whitworth

NAIA (2)

Missouri Valley @ Baker

Midland @ Morningside

Last Week’s Battles of Defeateds (14)

FBS (1)

Wyoming @ Idaho

FCS (1)

Wagner @ Central Connecticut State

D-II (4)

Edinboro @ Lock Haven

Lincoln (PA) @ Livingstone

Seton Hill @ West Virginia Wesleyan

Mesa State @ Black Hills State

D-III (6)

King’s (PA) @ Misericordia

Anderson (IN) @ Defiance

North Park @ Olivet

Denison @ Hiram

Union (NY) @ St. Lawrence

Whittier @ Puget Sound

NAIA (2)

Dordt @ Concordia (NE)

Campbellsville @ Belhaven

Last Week’s Mismatches (Undefeated vs. Winless) (22)

* – Winless

FBS (2)

UAB* @ Ohio State

NW Oklahoma State* (D-II) @ Texas-San Antonio

FCS (6)

Prairie View A&M* @ North Dakota State

Dartmouth @ Holy Cross*

McNeese State @ SE Louisiana*

Delaware @ William & Mary*

Lehigh @ Liberty*

Yale @ Cornell (NY)*

D-II (8)

Harding @ Southern Nazarene*

Missouri Western @ Fort Hays State*

Lincoln (PA)* @ Pittsburg State

Minnesota State-Moorhead* @ Minnesota State-Mankato

St. Anselm* @ New Haven

Washburn @ Central Oklahoma*

Southwest Baptist* @ Missouri Southern

NW Oklahoma State* @ Texas-San Antonio (FBS)

D-III (6)

Mount Union @ Marietta*

Heidelberg @ Wilmington*

Ripon* @ Illinois College

Baldwin-Wallace @ Muskingum*

DePauw* @ Carnegie Mellon

Wisconsin-Oshkosh @ Alma*

NAIA (1)

Hastings @ Briar Cliff*

Camel Foe – Week 4, Butler

Posted: September 21, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: Camel Foe | Tags: Butler, Camel Foe, Campbell, Fighting Camels | Leave a comment »

After a 70-14 thrashing at the hands of Old Dominion, the Camels return to facing fellow non-scholarships teams as they open Pioneer Conference play by hitting the road to face Butler.

Butler University

Location: Indianapolis, Indiana (population: 829,718 as of 2010 census, the 12th largest city in the United States)

Established: 1855 as North Western Christian University. It was renamed in 1875 for founder Ovid Butler.

Enrollment: ~4,600

Nickname: Bulldogs

Mascot: Blue II is the official live mascot of Butler and is known by the tagline “Butler’s Mascot, America’s Dog”.

Affiliation: Butler is a football-only member of the Pioneer Conference. Except for women’s golf, the rest of its teams are spending their first year as a member of the Atlantic 10 Conference. Butler left the Horizon Conference in July to join the A-10. The Atlantic 10 does not sponsor women’s golf, so the Butler team will compete elsewhere in that sport.

[Ed. Note: Conference realignment is not just for big-time football as Butler is the 4th straight opponent of Campbell who has undergone or is currently undergoing some type of division or conference shift.]

Random Fact #1: The university was the first in Indiana and the third in the United States to admit both men and women.

Random Fact #2: Architect Minoru Yamasaki, who designed the World Trade Center, designed the Irwin Library on campus.

Random Fact #3: Butler ranked 2nd in the U.S. News & World Report’s America’s Best Colleges 2010 for Top Midwestern Master’s Universities.

Random Fact #4: Butler’s Hinkle Fieldhouse also serves as the home to the Indiana High School state basketball tournament as was the site of Milan High’s 1954 title, which served as the loose basis for the movie Hoosiers. Parts of the movie were also shot in the fieldhouse.

Notable Alumni:

former Nebrasketball head coach and current Butler AD Barry Collier
Baylor men’s basketball head coach Scott Drew
IndyCar driver Sarah Fisher
Utah Jazz forward Gordon Hayward
Ohio State men’s basketball head coach Thad Matta
Bobby Plump, the hero of the real-life Milan High basketball team
Jim Jones, notorious founder of the People’s Temple and organizer of the 1979 mass suicide of 909 members of his organization

Indianapolis is pretty large – let’s stick with 5 really good people from there.

former UCLA basketball coach and Basketball Hall of Famer John Wooden
former U.S. Vice President Dan Quayle
Basketball Hall of Famer Oscar Robertson
actor Steve McQueen
former NBA player Eric Montross

[Ed Note: For some reason I am reminded of the old Sesame Street song, “One of these things is not like the others”…]

Oh yeah, the Football Team:

Butler heads into Pioneer Conference play with the same record as the Camels, 1-2
The Bulldogs opened the season with a 23-15 loss at Western Illinois, defeated Franklin 42-13 in Week 2 and dropped a 35-7 decision to Dartmouth last week
The series between Butler and Campbell is tied 2-2. Butler won the first two games while the Camels have taken the last two. Last season saw a 38-23 Camel win in Buies Creek.
In the teams’ only previous game at Butler in 2010, Campbell won by a 27-10 score.
Butler outgained Dartmouth 416-358 last week despite the four-touchdown loss. They lead the PFL in total offense at 483.3 yards per game.
Senior LB Jordan Ridley is tied for 8th in the PFL in tackles per game and was named PFL Co-Defensive Player of the Week after last season’s game against the Camels in which he had 19 tackles.
RB Trae Heeter leads the PFL in rushing at 65.3 yards per game.
WR’s Derek O’Connor (79.0) and Brendan Shannon (68.7) rank 2nd and 3rd respectively in the conference in receiving yards per game. O’Connor had 164 yards on 9 catches last week against Dartmouth.
Junior QB Matt Lancaster, a transfer from Illinois State, threw for 267 yards and 1 TD last week and has thrown 92 consecutive passes without an interception.
Stat Leaders:
- Passing: Lancaster – 60-100, 739 yards, 5 TD, 1 INT (also 153 yards rushing & 3 TDs)
- Rushing: Heeter – 31 carries, 196 yards
- Receiving: Shannon 16 receptions (206 yards) & 2 TDs; O’Connor 237 yards (15 catches)
- Defense: Ridley 26 tackles; DE Jeremy Stephens 3 TFL & 2 sacks; Bryce Barry & Sean Grady 1 interception
Best Name Nominees:
- JoJo Ciancio, Jayme Szafranski, Trae Heeter, Guy DiBalsamo, Joe Hackett (think Wings), Nestor Porres,
- The winner – Guy DiBalsamo.

Prediction:

Both teams are 1-2 and coming off of blowout losses last week – Butler by 28 points and the Camels by twice that. Despite the lopsided score, the Camels did top 200 yards rushing for the first time this season. Junior QB Dakota Wolf, making his first start for the injured Braden Smith who will miss the rest of the season, rushed for 101 yards on 22 carries to lead the ground attack. Through the air Wolf was 8-16 passing for just 56 yards. Kurt Odom added 53 yards and 1 TD on the ground and had 3 receptions for 16 yards. Lucas Smith paced the defense with 9 tackles while Isaac Scott had a sack and a forced fumble.

The series between these two teams has been evenly matched and this game should be as well. The rest of the conference coaches felt that way also, as Campbell was slotted 5th and Butler 7th in the preseason poll. Two things that seem to tilt this game in favor of the Bulldogs are that the game is being played in Indianapolis and Camel QB Dakota Wolf will be making just his 2nd career start. The Camels have been outscored 38-0 in the 1st quarter so far this year and are averaging just 14.7 point per game. A new QB with pedestrian throwing numbers will be hard-pressed to improve on those numbers. I see Butler snapping their 2-game losing streak to the Camels with a hard fought 27-17 victory.

Undefeateds & Defeateds – Week 4

Posted: September 20, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Deafeated, Mismatch, Undefeated, Winless | Leave a comment »

Here at MB, we can’t get enough college football (except when one of our favorite teams goes down in flames). We also love to celebrate the great and the terrible. Thus, we are combining those two passions into a new segment called “Undefeateds & Defeateds”. Each week for the rest of the college football season we will list undefeated and winless teams as well as games taking place between either two undefeated teams, two winless teams or one of each. The lists are pretty long in some of the divisions right now but will naturally be pared down as the season continues.

Undefeated (155)

FBS (31)

Alabama, Arizona, Baylor, Cincinnati, Clemson, Florida, Florida State, Georgia, Iowa State, Kansas State, Louisiana Tech, Louisville, LSU, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Ohio, Ohio State, Oklahoma, Oregon, Oregon State, Rutgers, South Carolina, Stanford, TCU, Texas, Texas Tech, Texas-San Antonio, UCLA, West Virginia

FCS (20)

Alabama A&M, Brown, Cal Poly, Citadel, Columbia, Dartmouth, Delaware, Harvard, Illinois State, Lafayette, Lehigh, McNeese State, Montana State, North Dakota State, Old Dominion, Samford, Tennessee State, Wofford, Yale, Youngstown State

D-II (38)

Adams State, Ashland, Bentley, Bloomsburg, Bowie State, California (PA), Carson-Newman, Charleston (WV), Colorado Mines, CSU-Pueblo, Emporia State, Findlay, Grand Valley State, Harding, Henderson State, Humboldt State, Indiana (PA), LIU-C.W. Post, Mary, Michigan Tech, Minnesota State-Mankato, Minnesota-Duluth, Missouri Southern, Missouri Western, New Haven, New Mexico Highlands, Newberry, Northwood, Ouachita Baptist, Pittsburg State, Shippensburg, Sioux Falls, Southern Arkansas, Truman State, Tuskegee, Washburn, Wayne State (NE), Winston-Salem

D-III (52)

Albright, Ausburg, Baldwin-Wallace, Bethel (MN), Birmingham-Southern, Bridgewater (VA), Bridgewater State (MA), Brockport State, Carleton (MN), Carnegie Mellon, Carroll (WI), Chapman, Coe, Concordia (IL), Concordia (MN), Elmhurst, Emory & Henry, Gettysburg, Hampden-Sydney, Hartwick, Heidelberg, Hobart, Illinois College, Illinois Wesleyan, Ithaca, Johns Hopkins, Kalamazoo, Lewis & Clark, Linfield, Louisiana College, Macalester, Mary Hardin-Baylor, Millikin, Millsaps, Mount Union, Muhlenberg, Norwich, Ohio Wesleyan, Otterbein, Rhodes, RPI, Salve Regina, St. John Fisher, St. Thomas (MN), Wabash, Waynesburg, Whitworth, Widener, Willamette, Wisconsin-Oshkosh, Wisconsin-Platteville, Wittenberg

NAIA (14)

Baker, Benedictine (KS), Cumberlands (KY), Dakota Wesleyan, Eastern Oregon, Georgetown (KY), Hastings, Marian, Midland, Missouri Valley, Morningside, St. Ambrose, St. Xavier, William Penn

Winless (150)

FBS (13)

Army, Colorado, Eastern Michigan, Houston, Idaho, Massachusetts, Memphis, Navy, Southern Miss, Tulane, UAB, UNLV, Wyoming

FCS (28)

Austin Peay, Bryant, Central Connecticut State, Charleston Southern, Cornell (NY), Davidson, Furman, Gardner-Webb, Georgia State, Grambling State, Hampton, Holy Cross, Liberty, Missouri State, Nicholls State, Penn, Prairie View A&M, Princeton, Rhode Island, Robert Morris (PA), Sacred Heart, Savannah State, SE Louisiana, Southern, Valparaiso, Wagner, Weber State, William & Mary

D-II (38)

Azusa Pacific, Benedict, Black Hills State, Brevard, Central Oklahoma, Colorado Mesa, Edinboro, Fairmont State, Fort Hays State, Fort Lewis, Lake Erie, Lincoln (MO), Lincoln (PA), Livingstone, Lock Haven, Malone, McKendree, McMurry, Minnesota State-Moorhead, Minnesota-Crookston, Minot State, Nebraska-Kearney, North Greenville, Northeastern State, Northern State, NW Oklahoma State, Pace, Quincy, Saint Anselm, Seton Hill, South Dakota Mines, Southern Connecticut, Southern Nazarene, Southwest Baptist, Texas A&M-Commerce, West Virginia Wesleyan, Western Oregon, Western State

D-III (51)

Alma, Anderson (IN), Averett, Bethany (WV), Buena Vista, Claremont-Mudd-Scrips, Defiance, Denison, DePauw, Earlham, Geneva, Greenville, Grinnell, Hiram, Howard Payne, King’s (PA), Knox, La Verne, LaGrange, Lakeland, Luther, MacMurray, Maine Maritime, Manchester, Maranatha, Marietta, UMass-Dartmouth, McDaniel, Misericordia, Morrisville State, Muskingum, Nichols College, North Park, Occidental, Ohio Northern, Olivet, Pomona-Pitzer, Puget Sound, Redlands, Ripon, St. Lawrence, St. Vincent, Stevenson, Union (NY), Washington (St. Louis), Western Connecticut, Whittier, Wilmington, Wisconsin-Eau Claire, Wisconsin-River Falls, Wooster

NAIA (20)

Ave Maria, Avila, Belhaven, Bethel (KS), Bluefield (VA), Briar Cliff, Campbellsville (KY), Concordia (MI), Concordia (NE), Culver-Stockton, Dakota State, Dordt, Haskell, Montana State-Northern, Olivet Nazarene, Point, Saint Mary (KS), Sterling, Texas College, Webber International

Note: 10 D-III teams (Amherst, Bates, Bowdoin, Colby, Hamilton, Middlebury, Trinity (CT), Tufts, Wesleyan & Williams) will play their first games of the season this weekend.

Battles of Undefeateds (19)

FBS (4)

Clemson @ Florida State

Kansas State @ Oklahoma

Arizona @ Oregon

Oregon State @ UCLA

FCS (1)

Harvard @ Brown

D-II (6)

Colorado Mines @ New Mexico Highlands

Indiana (PA) @ California (PA)

Findlay @ Michigan Tech

Adams State @ CSU-Pueblo

Bloomsburg @ LIU-C.W. Post

Carson-Newman @ Newberry

D-III (6)

Carleton (MN) @ Bethel (MN)

Macalester @ Lewis & Clark

Johns Hopkins @ Muhlenberg

Hartwick @ St. John Fisher

Birmingham-Southern @ Rhodes

Chapman @ Whitworth

NAIA (2)

Missouri Valley @ Baker

Midland @ Morningside

Battles of Defeateds (14)

FBS (1)

Wyoming @ Idaho

FCS (1)

Wagner @ Central Connecticut State

D-II (4)

Edinboro @ Lock Haven

Lincoln (PA) @ Livingstone

Seton Hill @ West Virginia Wesleyan

Mesa State @ Black Hills State

D-III (6)

King’s (PA) @ Misericordia

Anderson (IN) @ Defiance

North Park @ Olivet

Denison @ Hiram

Union (NY) @ St. Lawrence

Whittier @ Puget Sound

NAIA (2)

Dordt @ Concordia (NE)

Campbellsville @ Belhaven

Mismatches (Undefeated vs. Winless) (23)

* – Winless

FBS (2)

UAB* @ Ohio State

NW Oklahoma State* (D-II) @ Texas-San Antonio

FCS (6)

Prairie View A&M* @ North Dakota State

Dartmouth @ Holy Cross*

McNeese State @ SE Louisiana*

Delaware @ William & Mary*

Lehigh @ Liberty*

Yale @ Cornell (NY)*

D-II (8)

Harding @ Southern Nazarene*

Missouri Western @ Fort Hays State*

Lincoln (PA)* @ Pittsburg State

Minnesota State-Moorhead* @ Minnesota State-Mankato

St. Anselm* @ New Haven

Washburn @ Central Oklahoma*

Southwest Baptist* @ Missouri Southern

NW Oklahoma State* @ Texas-San Antonio (FBS)

D-III (7)

Mount Union @ Marietta*

Heidelberg @ Wilmington*

Wittenberg @ Wooster*

Ripon* @ Illinois College

Baldwin-Wallace @ Muskingum*

DePauw* @ Carnegie Mellon

Wisconsin-Oshkosh @ Alma*

NAIA (1)

Hastings @ Briar Cliff*

Miscellaneous Notes

FCS Savannah State (2 games), D-II Fort Lewis (2 games) & D-II Lock Haven (3 games) have not yet scored a point this season.
Savannah State has the worst per game point differential at -69.50. They have played only Oklahoma State and Florida State thus far. Fort Lewis is next worst at 59.50, having been outscored 119 to 0 in their two games.
FBS Florida State has the highest at 57.67 with D-III Widener (49.00) and D-III Mount Union (47.50) rounding out the top 3
The lowest for an undefeated team with multiple wins is NAIA Eastern Oregon at 3.00 in 2 games. D-III Kalamazoo has the lowest for a 3-0 team at 3.33.
The highest for either an 0-2 or 0-3 team is FCS William & Mary at -2.33, with their 3 losses coming by a total of 7 points.
The highest combined difference in an undefeated matchup this week is D-II Colorado Mines (44.67) @ New Mexico Highlands (39.00)
The lowest combined difference in a winless matchup is D-III Misericordia (-59.00) @ King’s (PA) (-19.00)
The largest mismatch in point differential is D-III Wittenberg (40.50) @ Wilmington (-33.50)

CFB Week 4 “Previews”

Posted: September 20, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Montana Tech, Northern Iowa, Rocky Mountain, RPI, WPI, Youngstown State | Leave a comment »

Ryan and Jimmy are both traveling for their real work this week, so I’m flying solo on the previews.

Worcester Polytechnic Institute (WPI) @ Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) – Saturday, September 22 @ 12:00 pm CDT

“The Transit Trophy”

Information about the Transit Trophy can be found here and here. RPI leads the all-time series 55-45-5, including a 21-10-1 record since the trophy was created prior to the 1980 game.

Author: Bristol

Mascot

WPI – Engineers.

RPI – Engineers.

Advantage – Fucking smart kids. Let’s move on before I regret picking this matchup even more.

Best Player Name

WPI – Tie – Junior DL Joseph Szerszunowicz, sophomore DL Tom Chub (who has the biggest hickey ever), and sophomore WR Larry McGillicuddy. Honorable mention goes to the length of Gallagher Hogan‘s head.

RPI – Tie – Freshman WR DyQuann White-Salter & freshman RB Nick Schlatz (sounds like a delicious mix of Schlitz and Blatz; also what you would have if you drank that mix). Most obviously a kicker – Andrew Franks. Best mustache – Corey White. Most fitting HS name – Matt Hemm (Bacon Academy).

Advantage – WPI. I didn’t think the Schiltz/Blatz/mustache combo could be beat, but RPI turned its head for a moment and got McGillicuddied.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

WPI – Nothing matters other than Glenn Arnold‘s facial hair.

RPI – Defensive coordinator and acting head coach Bob Bodor. Bodor was a three-time letterwinner on the offensive line for Denison University and has made the following coaching stops since 1991 – Johns Hopkins, Columbia, Penn, Hartwick, Albion, Colorado College, Kapa’a High School on Kauai Island, Hawaii, Colorado School of Mines & RPI. Assistant Coach Andy Sparano was disqualified for being the son of former Miami Dolphins Head Coach, and current New York Jets offensive coordinator Tony Sparano.

Advantage – WPI. Arnold’s face squirrel wins easily. One question for Bob Bodor – why the hell did you leave Kauai when you had a job and could have stayed forever?

Location

WPI – Worcester, MA. Worcester is known as the “Heart of the Commonwealth” and “The City of the Seven Hills”. Worcester was first settled by the English in 1673, although it was re-settled twice, the last in 1713. The town was a center of revolutionary activity before and during the American Revolution. The first American valentine cards were designed and manufactured in Worcester. On October 19, 1924 the largest KKK meeting ever held in New England took place in Worcester. A riot broke out after the after the rally ended. Klansmen were pulled from their cars and beaten and had their vehicles burned and hit with rocks and stones. Shockingly, no further public Klan meetings were held in Worcester. The Worcester Music Festival is the oldest music festival in the United States. People from Worcester include poet Ernest Lawrence Thayer, who wrote Casey at the Bat; 60’s radical activist Abbie Hoffman; actress Jean Louisa Kelly (Yes, Dear & Uncle Buck); actor/comedian Denis Leary; former MLB catcher Rich Gedman; and NBA Hall-of-Famer Bob Cousy.

RPI – Troy, NY. Troy is known as the Collar City due to its history in shirt, collar, and other textile production. At one point, Troy was second in the U.S. to only Pittsburgh in iron production. The city was settled in the mid-17th century with the current name taken from the legendary city of Troy in 1789. The city claims to be the historical home of Uncle Sam via a legend that a local butcher named Samuel Wilson sent supplies to troops in the War of 1812. The barrels were marked U.S. which the troops jokingly took to mean “Uncle Sam”. In 1823, the Troy Sentinel newspaper was the first publisher of the poem The Night Before Christmas. Troy was home to two early major league baseball teams; the Troy Haymakers, who disbanded in 1872 after two seasons, and the Troy Trojans, who moved to New York and eventually became the New York Giants. Notable residents include MLB Hall-of-Famer John Evers of Tinker-Evers-Chance fame; novelist Kurt Vonnegut; and author Herman Melville (Moby Dick).

Advantage – Worcester. A lot of history in the two cities. It was a dead heat between Casey at the Bat / beating Klansmen and Moby Dick / Uncle Sam. But since Troy was home to the team that eventually became the San Francisco Giants, no points are awarded to that city and may God have mercy on its soul.

Notable Alumni

WPI – Robert H. Goddard, the father of modern rocketry; Robert Stempel, the inventor of the catalytic converter; Nancy Pimental, one of the writers of South Park and the person who replaced Jimmy Kimmel as co-host of Win Ben Stein’s Money; and John W. Geils Jr., who dropped out of WPI along with two other students to form the J. Geils Band, best known for their #1 hit Centerfold.

RPI – Brooklyn Bridge engineer Washington Roebling; George Ferris, who designed and built the original Ferris Wheel; Allen DuMont, creator of the first commercial television; Raymond Tomlinson, often credited with the invention of e-mail; inventor of the digital camera Steven Sasson; Hockey Hall of Famer Adam Oates; NCAA President Myles Brand; and director Bobby Farrelly.

Advantage – RPI. They created TV, e-mail and the digital camera, plus the Brooklyn Bridge and the Ferris Wheel. I love the J. Geils Band as much as the next guy, but that’s a hell of a resume, RPI.

Decision

WPI wins it 3-1-1 despite the impressive showing in creative alumni by RPI.

Montana Tech @ Rocky Mountain – Saturday, September 22 @ 2:00 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Mascot

Montana Tech – Orediggers. Specifically, Charlie Oredigger. Order the inspirational Charlie Oredigger children’s book here. Read this to your kids and the memories (and the nightmares) will last forever.

Rocky Mountain – Battlin’ Bears. No information could be found on why they are the Battlin’ Bears or if they have an actual mascot.

Advantage – Orediggers. Charlie Oredigger has a pickax will bury it in the skull of a Battlin’ Bear. Look at him – he’s done it before. To bears and humans.

Best Player Name

Montana Tech – Sophomore OL Mack Ferko. Freshman QB/K Matt Berg has an amazing mustache.

Rocky Mountain – Tie – Freshman WR Jayc VanZee & junior WR Tyzer Cady. But the pictures, my God, the pictures. Best Beard. Carpet doesn’t match the drapes. Captain Caveman. The next Derek Zoolander. So happy. The happiest. Boogie Nights. All the Product. Sasquatch. WTF.

Advantage – Rocky Mountain. They just won the Internet. Forever.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Montana Tech – Head coach / defensive coordinator / defensive backs coach Chuck Morrell. Morrell was the leading tackler on the 1996 NAIA National Championship team at the University of Sioux Falls. He also coached at USF for 12 years, helping the team to five national title games and 3 championships. He also spent a year at South Dakota before taking the top job at Montana Tech. He is a native of Bon Homme, South Dakota.

Rocky Mountain – This guy.

Advantage – Montana Tech. Since I can’t even figure out which coach that is from the Rocky Mountain website, Chuck Morrell wins this one.

Location

Montana Tech – Butte MT. The town’s nickname is Butte America (I don’t get it) and the motto is The Richest Hill on Earth. The population peaked at 60,000 in 1920 and is home to 34,000 people now. Butte began as a mining town for gold and silver, but copper turned out to be plentiful in the area. It had a wide-open reputation as a place where any vice was obtainable. The famous “red-light” district was full of bordellos and brothels and was open until 1982, one of the last such urban districts in the U.S. Notable natives include former Washington State and Fresno State football coach Jim Sweeney; Olympic medal-winning cyclist Levi Leipheimer; former Colorado State football coach Sonny Lubick; and daredevil Evel Knievel.

Rocky Mountain – Billings, MT. Billings is the largest city in Montana. It is known as the Magic City and its motto is Star of the Big Sky Country. It was founded as a railroad town in 1882 and was named for a former president of the Northern Pacific Railroad. William Clark traveled through the region in 1806 as part of the Lewis & Clark expedition. He carved his name on Pompey’s Piller, a rock formation named for the son of Sacajawea. The inscription can still be seen today and is the only remaining physical evidence found along the expedition route. Notable people include professional poker player Annie Duke; famed PIXAR animator and Oscar nominee Bud Luckey; frontierswoman Calamity Jane; sportscaster Brent Musberger; and aviator Charles Lindbergh.

Advantage – Billings. You’re looking live at Billings, MT as it defeats Butte!

Notable Alumni

Montana Tech – Ryan Lance, CEO of ConocoPhillips.

Rocky Mountain – actor Jason Earles (Hannah Montana); actor and mime Bill Bowers; former NFL WR Chris Horn; and folk singer Arlo Guthie (did not graduate)

Advantage – Rocky Mountain. Smaller colleges yield smaller lists. Rocky Mountain wins this pillow fight.

Decision

Rocky Mountain wins 3-2. Arlo Guthrie broke the tie, but the RMC pictures rule the day.

Northern Iowa @ Youngstown State – Saturday, September 22 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Mascot

Northern Iowa – Panthers. TC, the UNI mascot, has his own website.

Youngstown State – Penguins. Learn more about Pete and Penny Penguin and how YSU became the only four-year institution in the United States with the penguin nickname.

Advantage – Penguins. TC might have a website, but TC stands for “The Cat”. If it stood for “Theodore Calvin” they would have won hands down.

Best Player Name

Northern Iowa – Tie – Senior DB Wilmot Wellington & junior LB Sam Tim. Headbands are all the rage.

Youngstown State – Junior SS Twin Fernandes. Best mustache – Fred Herdman.

Advantage – UNI. Headbands and Sam Tim barely edge out Fred’s stache.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Northern Iowa – Tough choices here – have to mention three things. First, this guy‘s goatee. Second, former Nebraska DB Daniel Bullocks is a defensive assistant. Bullocks played 5 years in the NFL with the Detroit Lions. But, the winner is tight ends coach Dan Clark. Clark is the brother of former Iowa TE and current Tampa Bay TE Dallas Clark (and former Iowa State LB Derrik Clark). All three played for my high school’s biggest rival and I played against each of them in at least one sport. Clark was a three-year starter at Simpson College and previously coached at Simpson, Iowa Central Community College and Iowa.

Youngstown State – The YSU staff includes former NFL players Tom Sims (7 years as a DT with the Chiefs and Colts) and Andre Coleman (5 years as a WR/KR for the Chargers, Seahawks & Steelers). Coleman was a 2-time Pro Bowl alternate as a return man who named AFC Special Teams player of the month 4 times. He had 5 return TD’s in his career, plus a 98-yard kickoff return for a score for San Diego in Super Bowl XXIX against San Francisco. Former Miami (OH) head coach Shane Montogomery is also on staff, but the winner in this category is Ron Stoops, Jr. Ron is the least famous member of the Stoops coaching family and the only brother who did not play football at Iowa. Ron coached at the high school level for 28 years before joining Youngstown State in 2010. He spent 9 seasons at perennial powerhouse Cardinal Mooney High in Youngstown, where his father, Ron Sr., coached for years. Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini and boxer Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini attended Cardinal Mooney in addition to the Stoops brothers.

Advantage – Youngstown State. Great category this time around. Andre Coleman’s Super Bowl kickoff return and the Stoops family give YSU the edge.

Location

Northern Iowa – Cedar Falls, IA. It was founded in 1845 by William Sturgis and originally named Sturgis Falls. The town was renamed for its proximity to the Cedar River a few years later after the Sturgis family had moved on. However, the family name is still honored during an annual three-day celebration called the Sturgis Falls Celebration. Cedar Falls is connected to Waterloo, where the sister of yours truly lives. Notable people from Cedar Falls include actress Annabeth Gish; actor Michael Mosley (Drew from the seasons of Scrubs that never happened); Robert James Waller, author of Bridges of Madison County; former Nebraska and NFL player (and noted dipshit) Trev Alberts; former MLB umpire Don Dekinger, who made the infamous call in the 1985 World Series; and former NBA head coach Terry Stotts.

Youngstown State – Youngstown, OH. The city was named for John Young, an early settler who established the first sawmill and gristmill in the area. Sitting in the heart of the Rust Belt, Youngstown was a center for steel production until that industry fell into decline in the 1970s. The General Motors’ Lordstown Assembly plant has buoyed the economy since the dip in the steel industry and is the area’s largest industrial employer. Notable people from Youngstown not already mentioned include musicians Robert and Ronald Bell, members of Kool & the Gang; Harry Burt, the creator of the Good Humor ice cream bar; attorney Clarence Darrow; William McKinley, the 25th president of the United States; director Chris Columbus (Home Alone); musician Dave Grohl; a crapload of football players (Maurice Clarett, Bernie Kosar, Paul Warfield and the Browner brothers among many others); and actress Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke from the original Dukes of Hazzard).

Advantage – Youngstown. This category was already a rout before we got to Daisy Duke.

Notable Alumni

Northern Iowa – My sister; U.S. Senator Charles Grassley; John Hall, the founder of the Goose Island Brewing Company; current Creighton men’s basketball head coach (and noted inbound play genius) Greg McDermott; 1995 NFL Defensive Player of the year Bryce Paup; and two-time NFL MVP and Super Bowl XXXIV MVP Kurt Warner.

Youngstown State – New Mexico head coach Bob Davie; former NFL executive Carmen Policy; former NFL QB Cliff Stoudt; shoe company marketing executive Sonny Vaccaro; former MLB pitcher Dave Dravecky; former NFL QB and current talking head Ron Jaworski; former Kansas head coach Mark Mangino; and actor Ed O’Neill.

Advantage – Youngstown State. Al Bundy titled the scales in favor of Youngstown State metaphorically after Mark Mangino did so literally.

Decision

A very fun “preview” to write ends up 4-1 in favor of Youngstown State.

Camel Foe – Week 3, Old Dominion

Posted: September 14, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: Camel Foe | Tags: Cal Bowdler, Campbell, ODU, Old Dominion | Leave a comment »

The Fighting Camels step it up big time competition-wise this week as they travel to face Old Dominion University (ODU!).

Old Dominion

Location: Norfolk, Virginia (population: 242,803 as of 2010 census)

Established: 1930 as the Norfolk Division of the College of William & Mary. It became Old Dominion College in 1962 and Old Dominion University in 1969.

Enrollment: 24,125

Nickname: Monarchs

Mascot: Big Blue won the 2010 Capital One Mascot Challenge and has his own Facebook page, complete with more than 11,600 likes.

Affiliation: ODU is a member of the Colonial Athletic Association, which is FCS in football and Division I in all other sports. On May 17 of this year ODU announced it would move to Conference USA on July 1, 2013. The football team, restarted just 3 years ago in 2009, will be an FBS independent for 2 seasons before joining conference play in 2015.

Random Fact #1: ODU derives its name from one of Virginia’s state nicknames, “The Old Dominion”, a name given to the state by King Charles II of England for remaining loyal to the crown during the English Civil War.

Random Fact #2: ODU is one of the nation’s largest providers of online distance learning courses.

Random Fact #3: The ODU Lady Monarchs basketball team has won 3 national titles – 2 in the AIAW (1979 & 1980), the precursor to the NCAA in women’s sports, and 1 in the NCAA (1985). They also reached the 1997 national title game before losing to Tennessee.

Random Fact #4: The school colors are silver and two types of blue, slate and cerulean.

Notable Alumni:

Ben Bailey, the host of Cash Cab
former NBA player Cal Bowdler
Jimmy Carter, the 39th President of the United States (attended but did not graduate)
Basketball Hall of Fame member Anne Donovan
Poet Maya Angelou (attended but did not graduate)
Benjamin S. Grffin, four-star general in the United States Army
Basketball Hall of Fame member Nancy Lieberman
Lashawn Merritt, 2008 Olympic Gold Medalist in the 400 meters and the 4×400 meter relay
Oliver Purnell, head men’s basketball coach at DePaul University
Actress Deborah Shelton (A-Team, T.J. Hooker, The Fall Guy, Cheers and others)
Justin Verlander, author of 2 no-hitters and the 2011 AL MVP

Good work ODU. Any awesome people from Norfolk?

Musician & hip-hop producer Timbaland
MLB baseball players David Wright, B.J. Upton and Justin Upton
Actor Tim Reid (WKRP in Cincinnati, Simon & Simon, Sister Sister)
Actor Rob Estes (Silk Stalkings, Melrose Place)

Oh yeah, the Football Team:

Despite starting football just 3 years ago, ODU is already nationally competitive. They went 9-2 as an FCS independent in 2009 and 8-3 in 2010. Last year, they joined the CAA and went 9-2 in the regular season, earning the program’s first playoff bid. The Monarchs defeated Norfolk State 35-18 in the first round of the FCS playoffs before falling 55-48 to Georgia Southern in the second round in a game that saw 1167 yards of total offense.
ODU enters the game ranked #6 in The Sports Network FCS Top 25 and #4 in the FCS Coaches Poll. They are 2-0 this season, defeating Duquesne 57-23 and winning at Hampton 45-7 in a weather shortened contest.
The Monarchs have defeated Campbell in each of the past 3 seasons: 28-17 in 2009, 44-13 in 2010 & 41-14 last season.
ODU football is sold out for the 4th straight season. Foreman Field at S.B. Ballard Stadium holds a crowd of 19,818.
In the season-opening rout of Duquesne, QB Taylor Heinicke went 41-63 for 492 yards and 4 TDs and ran for 38 yards. He was named CAA and TSN National Offensive Player of the Week.
The Dukes actually led that game 20-10 at the half before ODU exploded for 47 second-half points.
RB Tyree Lee leads the team with 131 yards rushing and 3 TDs through 2 games. Blair Roberts is the leading receiver with 13 grabs for 157 yards.
Craig Wilkins leads the team with 12 tackles, 2 sacks and 4 TFL and has forced 1 fumble. Rodney Hunter has collected 2 interceptions in the first 2 contests.
Best Name Nominees:
- Fellonte Misher, Connor Mewbourne (Did you say “Meow”), Jason Rexroad (Car RamRod?), Aquante Thornton, Jagger Blehm
- The winner – Jagger Blehm.
- [Ed. Note – If Jimmy has written this, the winner would have been Fellatio Misher, even though that’s not his name.]

Prediction:

Last week, the Camels offense sputtered but the defense shined in their 10-0 win over Virginia-Wise, evening their record at 1-1. Braden Smith passed for 200 yards and 1 TD despite losing a tooth on a first half hit. RB Josh Williams, making his first start, ran for 89 yards on 23 carries and had 4 receptions for 26 yards. Lucas Smith spearheaded an excellent defensive effort with 2 sacks while Matt Farris and Steth Monroe each grabbed an interception. The Camels outgained the Cavaliers 320-175 and recorded their 2nd shutout since reviving the football program.

Unfortunately, none of those positive vibes will do much good this week. ODU has averaged 51 points the first two weeks while allowing 15. The Camels are scoring 15 points per game while giving up 15.5. There are also not any other numbers that indicate this is going to be anything other than an easy victory for ODU. The Camel offense could not do much with the Virginia-Wise defense, so I do not foresee any more luck with the 6th (or 4th) ranked team in FCS. Much like the last 2 seasons, ODU scores early and often while rolling to victory. I’m going to guess a slightly worse beating than last year since the Camels appear a bit weaker and ODU is an FCS force to be reckoned with – 48-10 Monarchs.

CFB Week 3 “Previews”

Posted: September 13, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Art Long, Baldwin-Wallace, BEES, Bloomsburg, Burt Reynolds, Calgary, Don Shula, Donk, General E. Rection, Gorilla Monsoon, Hungry Eyes, John Carroll, Kutztown, Manitoba, MST3K, Rochester, Rutgers, South Florida, St. John Fisher | Leave a comment »

This week we have a fivesome of game “previews” for your reading enjoyment. Both Ryan and Jimmy contributed a preview of their own.

Rutgers @ South Florida – Thursday, September 13 @ 6:30 pm CDT

Author: Ryan

We go DI this week (I was gonna say big time, but this game does not qualify) with Rutgers at South Florida in an intense Big East Battle.

Mascot

Rutgers – Scarlet Knights. They actually have a pretty long history of random ass mascots. Rutgers used to be known as Queens College, and at that time were known as the Queensmen. However, in 1925 they changed to the terrifying Chanticleers. They changed to Scarlet Knights in the ‘50s in hopes of all-around good athletic promise, which apparently has failed. The actual physical mascot of a knight in all red armor on his white steed is actually pretty badass. This version, is not. But good news, you can become the Scarlet Knight for the 2012-13 season.

South Florida – Bulls. When the school first started they picked Golden Brahmans as the official mascot, and then took something awesome and changed to the much more lame Bulls sometime in the 80s. A few years ago they created this – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rocky_the_Bull.

Advantage – Scarlet Knights would never take down Golden Brahmans, but Bulls have no chance. Rutgers.

Best Player Name

Rutgers – Freshman WR Ruhann Peele. And yes, he probably won based on this. And Marcus Thomson looks spectacular in a suit.

South Florida – Freshman TE Jackson Cannon, who should have been a QB. And loves Jersey Shore.

Advantage – Rutgers. The name might be better, but Ruhann is just incredible.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Rutgers – There may have been someone better, but as soon as I read this it was over. In 2004, Offensive Assistant Devin Fitzsimmons won the Bucknell Football Moxie Award. Done.

South Florida – Being related to Dr. Lou is not a positive here, so I’m going with WR coach Jerome Pathon, a former Colt, Saint and Falcon, who once did this. Make sure to watch the full video for memories of awesome.

Advantage – Rutgers. Anyone who can win the Bucknell Moxie Award is a winner in my book.

Location

Rutgers – Piscataway, NJ. The name stems from the words Pisgeu (Dark Night) and Awa (Place Of). Place of Batman. Awesome. Founded by Quakers – I do like oatmeal. Lots of technological companies are located there, including the Colgate/Palmolive Technology Center.

South Florida – Tampa, FL. The word Tampa has one of two meanings, depending of if the historian is any fun. One is “Sticks of Fire” referencing the many lightning strikes in the area. The other is “The Place to Gather Sticks”, which is also cool, right? Sadly, neither of the names mean Styx. Obviously lots of things are based in Tampa, but most impressive, they are home to the only Yuengling Brewery outside of Philly (but still not close enough to Oklahoma) and Bloomin’ Brands – proud parent of Outback Steakhouse, Bonefish Grill and Carrabba’s Grill. A few movies have been filmed in Tampa, including Edward Scissorhands, Cocoon and Cop and a Half.

Advantage – South Florida. Burt Reynolds and Yuengling. This one was over before it started.

Notable Alumni

Rutgers – Actors James Gandolfini (Tony Soprano), Kristin Davis (the only cute one from Sex and the City) and Calista Flockheart; Adult film star Asia Carrera (she was in Logjammin’ in The Big Lebowski, which is beyond awesome); Food Network Star Mario Batali; many NFL stars including Ray Rice; the band Looking Glass, who had a hit with Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl), formed while there; and Supreme Leader of the NBA David Stern.

South Florida – SI Columnist Don Banks; Gallagher (graduated with a Chemical Engineering degree, which taught him a lot about smashing shit); an odd amount of Soap Opera actors; Tony LaRussa (that’s right, the smartest man in the world graduated from USF); many NFL players including Jason Pierre-Paul; actor Greg Pitts (the O face guy from Office Space); and most importantly, Hollywood Hulk Hogan.

Advantage – There is no way I can name a winner here. Dead heat. TLR, Logjammin’, Tony Soprano, Gallagher, Malto Mario and Hollywood Hogan. There is just too much good here.

Decision

Rutgers takes this one on the strength of Ruhann’s hair.

Kutztown @ Bloomsburg – Saturday, September 15 @ 1:30 pm CDT

Author: Jimmy

Mascots

Kutztown – Golden Bears – Its a bear so I’m not even going to bother looking to see if it some type of pedobear. I’m sure it’s your standard, somewhat menacing-looking large North American land mammal.

Bloomsburg – Huskies – Woohoo a dog…next. Wait a second, the mascot’s name is Roongo, which seemed cool until I realized is a combination of maroon and gold, the school colors.

Advantage – Push.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Kutztown – Raymond Yannuzzi – O-line and Academic Coordinator. Not to paint a guy into a corner but he’s the o-line coach and academic coordinator. Plus he has a chin that would make Jay Leno weep – see here http://www.kubears.com/coaches.aspx?rc=213&path=football . Richard Burkett gets honorable mention for the pic alone – http://www.kubears.com/coaches.aspx?rc=211&path=football

Bloomsburg – Maurice Daly – Defensive Assistant who also works in outpatient surgery at the local medical center. He is also an audiophile…AUDIO you sick bastards.

Advantage – Kutztown by a chin.

Best Player Names

Kutztown – Chas Barcelona – No information on Chas, but his name is Chas. Do we need more? I would have not been surprised if he had been wearing a v-neck sweater with a pink polo with his color popped. Zack Yankiewicz – I picked this guy for his last name alone for reasons you can probably guess. But then I read his profile; he likes steak, American Psycho (the book), American History X (the movie), he wants to meet Malcolm X, he listens to death metal and he wants to be on the Price is Right.

Bloomsburg – Sellus Roulhac – his gameday tradition is to ball out. In related news Sellus just got DQ’d from this category. Taking his place is Bernadain Decena who likes ketchup on his fries and likes to vacation in Haiti. Haiti? WTF, who vacations in Haiti, I hope he’s a native.

Advantage – Kutztown -with Yankiewicz leading the way for an upcoming trend that may leave Bloomsburg dead in the water.

Locations

Kutztown – Oddly enough Kutztown U. is in Kutztown, PA (pop. 5,067 as of 2010 census). Nothing interesting in wiki, but their Chamber of Commerce link did take me directly to a sight trying to get me to buy Viagra and Cialis. Apparently the town isn’t growing but other things are. If you get an erection after reading this call your doctor immediately because you a sick SOB.

Bloomsburg – Bloomsburg is also in the town of the same name, Bloomsburg, PA (pop. 14,855 as of 2010 census). Home of the largest fair in the state of Pennylvania…lot’s of carnies. Wow, there is not much going on is Bloomsburg either.

Advantage – Kutztown – strictly based on their Chamber of Commerce site trying to get me to buy Viagra and Cialis.

Notable Alumni

Kutztown – Bill DeMott – Former pro wrestler known as General E. Rection. I see no reason to carry on – Bloomsburg is already in trouble in this category. Any possible link between the General and the Viagra and Cialis?

Bloomsburg – Chuck Daly – former NBA Head Coach and the original Dream Team handler. Jahri Evans – Starting OG for the Saints Super Bowl Championship team. A whole butt load of dead politicians.

Advantage – Chuck, you were a hell of a coach but General E. Rection is too stiff of competition to overcome.

Decision

Kutztown 4-0-1…Let’s face it Bloomsburg never had a shot.

[Ed. Note – If you want to write a future preview that sets the blog record for penis/sex jokes, Jimmy has set the bar pretty high.]

Baldwin-Wallace @ John Carroll – Saturday, September 15 @ 5:00 pm CDT

“Cuyahoga Gold Bowl”

Information from the John Carroll website about the Gold Bowl can be found here, although it appears to have not been updated in a couple of years.

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Baldwin-Wallace – Yellow Jackets. Stinger the Yellow Jacket likes to hang out by buildings. Don’t worry if he touches you with his stinger, he’ll quit when he’s finished.

John Carroll – Blue Streaks. The nickname was adopted in the 1920s after a former player remarked that the team was “tearing around like a blue streak”. Unfortunately, it is not a reference to the movie Blue Streak.

Advantage – Yellow Jackets. Or, more appropriately, BEES!

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Baldwin-Wallace – J.T. Render. Render was a walk-on WR at Penn State who lettered once and was a member of the undefeated 1994 Rose Bowl Championship team. He was worked at Upper St. Clair High School (PA) and Washington & Jefferson College prior to John Carroll. Also, he looks a bit like Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura.

John Carroll – Tom Arth. Arth set 18 school records at QB for John Carroll and was twice named to the Division III All-American team. He spent three seasons in the Indianapolis Colts organization and played for two years in NFL Europe and one in the Arena Football League.

Advantage – Render. SPOILER ALERT – Einhorn is Finkel!

Best Player Names

Baldwin-Wallace – Spyro Spondyl, who is wearing the worst wig ever. Honorable mention to Pat LaGuardia’s Amish beard.

John Carroll – Tie – Buntu Biyana & Patrick Gawryszewski. Best hair – Alex Manos. (Bonus movie reference for fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000.)

Advantage – Biyana & Gawryszewski (pronouned “Williams”), with an assist to MST3K.

Locations

Baldwin-Wallace – Berea, OH. Berea is also home to the Cleveland Browns training facility and the Cuyahoga County Fairgrounds. The town proclaims itself the “Grindstone Capital of the World” and its symbol is a grindstone. Berea dimension stone was an important building material before concrete came into wide use. Berea was also the home of NFL Hall of Famer Lou “The Toe” Groza.

John Carroll – University Heights, OH. The motto is “City of Beautiful Homes” and the community is closely tied with neighboring Cleveland Heights, sharing a school system, post office, and many other municipal services. The city was originally called Idlewood Village but changed its name when the university moved into the area in 1925.

Advantage – John Carroll. Beautiful homes tops grindstones in the pecking order for towns, Lou Groza notwithstanding.

Notable Alumni

Baldwin-Wallace – Senator George Norris of Nebraska, the creator of the Nebraska Unicameral legislature; model & actress Claudia Jordan, a Barker’s Beauty on The Price is Right from 2001 to 2003; CBS tennis announcer Bud Collins; astronaut Robert Overmyer; Harrison Dillard, the only male runner to win Olympic titles in sprints and hurdles; and sweater-vest wearing weasel Jim Tressel

John Carroll – Tim Russert, the host and moderator of Meet the Press; astronaut Carl Walz; actor Jack Riley (the voice of Stu Pickles in Rugrats); singer Eric Carmen (All By Myself and Hungry Eyes); NFL LB London Fletcher-Baker; and Hall of Fame NFL Coach Don Shula

Advantage – John Carroll in a rout. Jim Tressel isn’t worthy of working as a busboy in one of Don Shula’s steakhouses. Throw in Hungry Eyes and it’s even more of a blowout.

Decision

John Carroll rallies from a Tommy Boy/Ace Ventura 2-0 hole to win 3-2 on the strength of MST3K, beautiful homes, Hungry Eyes & Don Shula.

Calgary @ Manitoba – Saturday, September 15 @ 1:00 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Calgary – Dinos. This is their logo. His name is Rex. Also, for no other reason than because it’s the greatest team photo ever – this. God bless the Internet.

Manitoba – Bisons. You can hire Billy the Bison to make an appearance at your event or just rent the suit. Or you could have a kindergartner make a costume that is just as good.

Advantage – Dinos. Rex will eat Billy. And so would the Unabomber.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Calgary – Head Coach Blake Nill. Nill played for the Dinos in the early 80s and spent six years in the CFL. He is in his 7th year at Calgary after serving as St. Mary’s head coach for 8 years, winning 2 Vanier Cups.

Manitoba – Receivers Coach Blair Atkinson. Atkinson is a former Bisons receivers who ranks highly in many statistical categories, including tied for most TD receptions in a season with 6. He spent one year on the practice roster for the CFL Winnipeg Blue Bombers and played in the preseason of a second year.

Advantage – Dinos. Playing in CFL > practice roster/preseason for the CFL.

Best Player Names

Calgary – Tie – Doctor Cassama and Alex Ogbongbemiga. Weirdest picture: tie – Tanner Doll and Spencer Duff. Warning labels for pregnant women are not just for show, folks.

Manitoba – Tie – Kienan (and/or Kel) LaFrance and Awot Btseamlak, who is terrifying.

Advantage – Manitoba. Maybe Doctor Cassama can tell me what’s wrong with those other 2 guys, but Kienan (and/or Kel) LaFrance can land a motherfucking plane.

Locations

Calgary – Calgary, Alberta. Calgary is the 3rd largest municipality in Canada and hosted the 1988 Winter Olympics. It was named after Calgary on the Isle of Mull, Scotland. The city annually hosts the Calgary Stampede, the “greatest outdoor show on earth”. The oil and gas industry dominates the economy as it is home to 87% of the country’s oil producers and 66% of the coal producers. Calgary is renowned in professional wrestling as the home to the Hart family and the place where the family trained many future pro wrestlers, including the British Bulldogs. In fact, the Western Hockey League’s Calgary Hitmen are named after founding owner Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Other notable residents include Super Bowl XXVI MVP Mark Rypien, actress Elisha Cuthbert and actor Tommy Chong.

Manitoba – Winnipeg, Manitoba. Winnipeg is the 7th largest municipality in Canada and got it’s name from the Cree word for “muddy waters”. In 1919, the Winnipeg General Strike saw more than 30,000 people walk off their jobs. The strike ended when Royal Canadian Mounted Police charged strikers in June of that year, killing 2 and injuring more than 30. One of the striker’s leaders went on to found Canada’s first socialist party. Winnipeg is home to the Royal Canadian Mint, which produces all circulating Canadian coinage. The Winnipeg Bear, the real-life Winnie-the-Pooh, was named after the town. The city will co-host the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup.

Advantage – Unlike a lot of the towns involved in these previews, both of these places have a lot going on. However, Calgary takes this one as Elisha Cuthbert and Tommy Chong take down Winnie-the-Pooh and socialism.

Notable Alumni

Calgary – Astronaut Robert Thirsk; 2010 speed skating gold medalist Christine Nesbitt; Mozilla CEO Gary Kovacs; and James Gosling, who invented the Java programming language.

Manitoba – Fashion model Meagan Waller, winner of Cycle 3 of Canada’s Next Top Model; Chicago Bears DL Isreal Idonije; former WWE wrestler Don “The Jackal” Callis; and “Lets Make A Deal” host Monty Hall.

Advantage – Manitoba. Not a lot to go on here, but Monty Hall gets the edge.

Decision

Dinos 3-2. That team photo 5-0.

Rochester @ St. John Fisher – Saturday, September 15 @ 6:00 pm CDT

“The Courage Bowl”

The Courage Bowl benefits the children of Camp Good Days and Special Times. Rochester is ending their series with St. John Fisher after the season so SJF will seek another opponent for the Courage Bowl.

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Rochester – Yellowjackets. Rocky the Yellowjacket has a Facebook page and is the one billionth person to do a video to “Call Me Maybe”.

St. John Fisher – Cardinals. The only picture I could find of their mascot is at the very bottom of this page.

Advantage – Cardinals. When does a yellow jacket lose to Fredbird‘s retarded cousin? When the bee smells like Carly Rae Jepsen.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Rochester – Head Coach Scott Greene. A four-time letterwinner and two-time team MVP as a running back at Michigan State. Greene was drafted by the Carolina Panthers in 1996 and established a team record for receptions by a running back with 40 in 1997. His bio indicates he was the starting FB for the Colts in 1998, but the NFL’s official stats do not back that up. Career totals include 157 yards rushing and 1 TD and 290 yards receiving and 2 TD’s.

St. John Fisher – Head Coach Paul Vosburgh. Vosburgh has been the Cardinals head coach since 1991, guiding the team into the postseason in each of the last 9 seasons. He was named the 2006 National Coach of the Year. Vosburgh played collegiately at William Penn in Iowa, earning Athlete of the Year honors as a senior. He coached at DeSales Catholic HS in Niagara Falls, NY, William Penn, and Emporia State before taking over the program at St. John Fisher.

Advantage – Greene. Despite the little white lie in his bio, Greene’s resume is still better than playing at Billy Penn.

Best Player Names

Rochester – Tie – Shaquill McCullers, Ugwu Okeke Ewo & Ani Okeke Ewo.

St. John Fisher – Dalton Donk. Best Horace Grant impersonation – MarcAnthony Bucci.

Advantage – Donk.

Locations

Rochester – Rochester, NY. The Seneca tribe lived in and around the area until their land rights were removed. “Their land rights were removed”? Really? I guess that reads better than “until the white people fed them rotten food, gave them small-pox infested blankets, and bought most of New York State for $24”. I don’t care about the rest of the information about your city – that sentence is insulting. Except for notable people, I have to do that: Abolitionist Frederick Douglass, suffragist Susan B. Anthony, golf architect Robert Trent Jones, former NBA players John Wallace and Art Long, PGA legend Walter Hagen, MLB Hall of Famer Charley “Old Hoss” Radbourn, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, and professional wrestlers Chyna and Gorilla Monsoon.

St. John Fisher – Pittsford, NY. Pittsford is an affluent suburb of Rochester through which the Erie Canal passes. “The early history of the town is marked by the punitive Marquis Denonville expedition against the Seneca tribe of 1867”. Punitive expedition? Wonder if that anything to do with “land rights removed”. Pittsford has the highest average household income in New York State north of the NYC metropolitan area. Pittsford is home to Oak Hill Country Club, which has hosted the PGA Championship, the U.S. Open and the Ryder Cup. It will be the site of the 2013 PGA Championship as well. Notable residents include model and actor Tyson Beckford, co-founder of Bausch and Lomb Henry Lomb, and women’s soccer play Abby Wambaugh.

Advantage – Rochester. Since they all eradicated the Seneca tribe that doesn’t serve as the deciding factor. At least Frederick Douglass and Susan B. Anthony later fought for some other people’s rights.

Notable Alumni

Rochester – Former NCAA President Myles Brand; Jay Last, one of the eight founders of Silicon Valley; Academy Award-nominated actor Robert Forster (Jackie Brown); Kansas City Chiefs offensive coordinator Brian Daboll; actress Debra Jo Rupp (Kitty Froman from That 70’s Show); and Francis Bellamy, who wrote the original Pledge of Allegiance.

St. John Fisher – Buffalo Bills CEO Russell Brandon; Edward Stack, Chairman and CEO of Dick’s Sporting Goods; and former Georgia Tech and current George Mason basketball coach Paul Hewitt.

Advantage – Rochester by a landslide.

Decision

Rochester sneaks away with a 3-2 victory despite the use of Call Me Maybe.

Jimmy Runs a 5k

Posted: September 11, 2012 | Author: jimmy | Filed under: Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

This post will be written in a timeline in order for dramatic effect or something along those lines.

Two Months Prior to race day: I get an email from my sister asking if I want to run in a 5k with her and my other sister. Being a person that often makes decisions without thinking about them first said, “Sure why the hell not.” I had started up P90X again, surely I could tackle a 5K.

One month and 29 Days prior to race day: Completely forget about saying I would run in a 5k.

One month prior to race day: Pull a muscle or get a hernia or some other excuse that I stop working out until I feel better

One week prior to race day: Sitting outside around a bonfire with the neighbors pounding a few beers when I have an epiphany that I am supposed to run a 5k the next day or maybe the next week. Laugh about it and drink 15 more beers.

4 Days prior to race: Get an email from my sister reminding me of our 5K on Saturday. Me: “Son of a Bitch, well I guess I’m still gonna do this” Call my sister and tell her I’m still in. In the back on my mind I’m thinking there’s no way I can do this.

3 Days prior to race: I decided I better at least try and run a mile. So I wait for the cover of darkness to avoid people seeing the catastrophe that is about to happen. Thirty seconds into the mile I begin to think there is no way I can do this and seriously consider walking back to my house. Two minutes in and I’m still not thinking I’m going to make it. The only reason I don’t stop is that my house a mere 2 blocks behind me seems so far away. So I trudge on thinking what the hell am I doing. Fast forward 10 minutes and 30 seconds and I am back at my house. I’m ecstatic that I made it, but my legs are on fire and I feel like I’m going to pass out. However, I’m convinced I can make it through the 5k

2 Days prior to race: My quads are so tight that I can barely get down the steps in my house. There’s no possible way I’m going to be able to run this race, consider calling my sisters and telling them I’m out. Luckily I have a golf tournament to go to that will help keep my off the impending sense of doom that is creeping into my mind.

Approximately 24hrs till race day: Wake up in the morning and my legs feel like they may actually work today and my second thought is that I’m going to need to eat well today and carb load. The following was my diet for the day:

Breakfast: Skipped…apparently sometime between 7:00 am and 7:30 am I forgot about the whole eating well today. I do manage about 5 cups of coffee at work though between 8:00 am and 11:00 am.

Lunch: Gus comes to my office to see if I want to go out for lunch, forgetting about the salad I was going to have, I say yes. My choice for lunch is a chicken parm sandwich where the cheese consists of 8 fried mozzarella sticks. I’m sure there’s plenty of carbs, but just in case I get an order of fries too.

Dinner: Alright this is the meal where I actually eat something decent today. Well the wife is at a photo shoot, so I make the kids mac and cheese for dinner. Apparently 2 boxes is only enough to feed 3 small children. Not wanting to make anything else I decide to wait for the wife to get home. She wants Panchero’s, which essentially is a 5 pound burrito the size of my head. I say sure thinking of all the carb loading I’ll be doing with the rice, forgetting of the gut wrenching indigestion I’ll get from the extra hot sauce and jalapenos I also decide to get. To top it off I decide I better have few beers with the neighbors before getting a good night sleep.

Race Day Morning: Rise and shine at 6:00 am and down some cheerios for breakfast. Then head to the gas station for as much Gatorade that I can carry. While there I notice they have something called Gatorade Prime that was supposed to give me the vitamins and energy to run this race. I throw it in with everything else and decide to chug it just before the race.

7:00 am: One hour till race time. I decide I need to arrive early to get in plenty of stretch time.

7:59 am: One minute till race. Pandora is on the headphones and I’m ready to rock to this thing.

8:00 am: I’m positioned about mid-pack looking for someone I can keep pace with and the people that I can’t get beat by. Suddenly the gun sounds and we’re off. Holy shit these people are running fast, my sisters immediately distance themselves, so much for keeping pace with them.

8:01 am: I get passed by an little old lady shaped and looking like a plum. What the hell am I really going to get beat by Plum Lady? Oh well I’ve just got to finish this and I’ll save a big kick for the end, I just have to keep her in sight.

8:15 am: Holy shit I’m going to die, this has to almost be over. Plum Lady is beginning to pull away.

8:17 am: Turn a corner and see my wife and 3 kids cheering me on. Not wanting my 4 year to think his dad is going to die, I put on a big smile and give him a high five. There’s no way I’m going to catch Plum Lady and I just got passed by a 7 year old girl.

8:30 am: I’m convinced there’s no way I’m going to finish, but I’ve caught up to the 7 year old girl.

8:36 am: Sweet Jesus the finish line is in sight. In my moment of elation I get passed by a guy in a full on sprint. What the hell, where did this guy come from. Then I realize I just got beat by a guy running the 10k. Holy Shit he is a man or Cheetah.

8:38 am: I did it! My first thought is to scan the crowd for Plum Lady to congratulate her and confirm that she was not a figment of my imagination. Alas she is nowhere to found, maybe she was my giant plum colored white rabbit. Clearly my oxygen depleted brain had been manifesting hallucinations in an attempt push me towards the finish. Hell maybe I had passed out and along the route somewhere. Five minutes pass by when I finally see a small purplish glob prodding towards the finish line…it was the Plum Lady! Some how some way I had passed her, I can only assume she got lost or sidetracked when we passed the yarn store. But alas, victory was mine and I could with a clear conscious crack open a beer knowing that I had not been beaten by the 65 year old plum.

Camel Foe – Week 2, Virginia-Wise

Posted: September 7, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: Camel Foe | Tags: Camel Foe, Fighting Camels, Virginia-Wise | Leave a comment »

Providing the opposition this week for the Fighting Camels, and thus the subject of the second Camel Foe of the year, is the University of Virginia at Wise.

Virginia-Wise

Location: Wise, Virginia (population: 3,286 as of 2010 census)

Established: 1954 as Clinch Valley College of the University of Virginia

Enrollment: 2,005

Nickname: Highland Cavaliers

Affiliation: UVa-Wise is currently a member of the NAIA and the Mid-South Conference, but will begin the transition from NAIA to NCAA Division II next year. They would be an active D-II member in the 2015-16 academic year. They will become a charter member of the new Mountain East Conference which plans to launch in the 2013-14 academic year.

Random Fact #1: It is the only branch of the University of Virginia and the westernmost public college in Virginia.

Random Fact #2: Existed as a junior college until the first Bachelor of Arts degrees were granted in 1970.

Random Fact #3: Boasts the “best small-college intramural program in the Southeast”. Half of the student body participates in some form of intramural activity.

Random Fact #4: UVa-Wise ranks first among public national liberal-arts colleges for students graduating with the least amount of debt.

Notable Persons:

Holly Kiser, the first winner of Make Me a Supermodel
Virginia delegate Terry Kilgore

Quite the list. How about anyone from the town of Wise…

Actor, director & producer George C. Scott
Former Green Bay Packers WR Carroll Dale
Glen Roberts, the originator of the jump shot while playing basketball at Christopher Gist High School in Pound, VA
- [Ed. Note: I think there are about 100 people credited with inventing the jump shot. In fact, a book published in 1999 and authored by John Christgau investigated 8 different men who each claim credit for inventing the jump shot. Roberts is among the eight, although Christgau makes a strong case that Ken Sailors was the first in May 1934.]
- [Ed. Note II: The towns of Pound and Big Stone Gap are both located in Wise County, VA. Insert your own joke here.]

Oh yeah, the Football Team:

The Highland Cavaliers opened the season with a 24-21 overtime win at Bethel University (ranked #11 in the NAIA preseason poll) on August 25 before being routed at home 43-10 by Faulkner University last Saturday
Last week Faulkner exploded for 26 second quarter points and cruised to victory, outgaining UVA-Wise 558 to 174. The Cavaliers’ only TD came on a 69-yard interception return by Vernon “Major” Payne
The Fighting Camels lead the series 1-0, winning 20-16 at Wise in 2010
UVa-Wise looks to start a season 2-0 on the road for the first time since 2008, when it posted back-to-back wins away from home over Kentucky Christian University and Newport News Apprentice School
Junior Kicker Paul Melshen needs 1 FG to tie the school’s career record of 18, set by Jay Withrow from 1993-96
Senior LB Derek Comer leads the Mid-South Conference and ranks 6th nationally with 22.5 tackles in the first 2 games
True freshman RB Connery Swift has run for 185 yards in the first 2 games, 175 of those coming in the season-opening win
Best Name Nominees:
- Jalani Winbush, Capers Zentmeyer, Shahn Khan, Zaukeus Witcher, T’ontray Billups, Skylar DeJesus
- The winner – Shahn Khan. KHAAAAAAAAN!

Prediction:

Another game that is tough to get a read on as the non-scholarship Camels face another team transitioning from NAIA to NCAA Division II, albeit one that is just beginning the process. The Highland Cavaliers first two games muddy the waters as well – they opened with an overtime win on the road against #11 Bethel but then returned home and lost by 33 to unranked Faulkner. As with most teams, the truth likely lies somewhere in the middle, plus we have to factor in that pre-season polls at best an educated guess and at worst a complete mockery. Meanwhile, our Camels turned the ball over 5 times last week against Shorter, including 4 first-quarter fumbles. They still managed to take a 3-point lead early in the 4th quarter before falling 31-20. We look for two questions to be answered this week: 1) Will the real Virginia-Wise Highland Cavaliers please stand up? 2) Can the Camels take care of the football? One man’s highly uneducated call – UVa-Wise’s lackluster offense (262.5 yds/game) will struggle to exploit the inexperienced Camel defense. On the other side of the ball, despite all the turnovers, Campbell had 475 yards of offense (336 passing from QB Braden Smith) last week against Shorter. With Virginia-Wise allowing 481.5 yards per game so far, the Camels should be able to move the ball once again. I foresee a Camel bounce-back this week as they turn the ball over only once and Smith enjoys another big passing day, leading them to a 31-16 victory.

CFB Week 2 “Previews”

Posted: September 6, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Central Washington, Counciltucky, Craig T. Nelson, Exxon Valdez, Iowa Western, Joe Esposito, Massachusetts Maritime Academy, McFogg the Dog, Michael J. Fox, North Dakota, Portland State, Potato Bowl USA, River Pirates, Simon Fraser, SUNY Maritime, Trinity Valley, You're the Best | Leave a comment »

As we have already established, a favorite MegaBracket pastime is to “preview” upcoming events with a plethora of random information. The college football season is no different as the sheer number of games played each week allows us to pick games at random and learn a little more about the colleges, players, coaches, and towns involved. Several different MB members contribute throughout the season with previews of their own. Each week’s collation will be published in one easy-to-find post.

[Ed. Note: If you would like to add your own contribution, simply e-mail it in and we will include it in the appropriate week’s previews.]

Iowa Western @ Trinity Valley – Saturday, September 8 @ 3:00 pm CDT

Author: Ryan

Mascots

Iowa Western – Reivers. According to the school website, the simple answer is that a Reiver is a River Pirate. Apparently there used to be River Pirates on the Missouri River, and when some random student suggested the name it was voted on and became the official mascot. Their logo and actual physical mascot is a pirate with an eye patch and earings, as even on the river losing an eye is a pirate staple.

Trinity Valley – Cardinals. Not a lot of history on their site, so I’m going to assume someone just picked a bird at random and it stuck for their mascot.

Advantage – Reivers. They had me at River Pirate.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Iowa Western – Tie between OL Coach Dane Uperesa and DL Coach Richard Glover Jr. Uperesa is a former University of Hawaii star and member of both the Colts and Bengals practice squads. Apparently his wife is in dental school at Creighton so he ended up in the Omaha area, which has to be fascinating for him. Glover is the son of former Nebraska star Rich Glover, winner of the 1972 Outland and Lombardi awards. He was selected as a starting DT in SI’s NCAA All-Century Team in 1999. Lil’ Rich Jr. played college ball at New Mexico State and had a brief stint with Tampa Bay in the NFL. Also, please check out Head Coach Scott Strohmeier’s Senior Photo – http://www.goreivers.com/sports/coaches.asp?sport=football.

Trinity Valley – J Pond. J is a former Offensive Lineman at Texas A&M who according to T Valley still holds a number of lifting records at the school. Also, his name is J.

Advantage – Iowa Western. That was just too much for J to overcome.

Best Player Names

Iowa Western – Tie between Sophomore Punter Carr Terpstra and Freshman WR Geronimo Allison. Sadly the Iowa Western site is very bad at player photos.

Trinity Valley – After finally finding a roster in the “In the News” section, I have to go with Fresham OL Danie Sweet, who just sounds adorable.

Advantage – Trinity Valley, because I don’t want to make Danie Sweet sad.

Locations

Iowa Western – Council Bluffs, IA. Affectionately known as The ‘Tuck for its similarity to all things Kentucky, this lovely riverside village has been shunned by the rest of its state, as well as its neighbors across the river in Omaha. Named for the 1804 meeting between the Lewis & Clark Expedition with the Otoe tribe, when The Council Bluffs became the name for the land on both sides of the Missouri River north of the mouth of the Platte River. For a while the actual town was named Kanesville, named for benefactor Thomas L. Kane who helped negotiate for Mormons to use the land adjacent to the Missouri River as a winter encampment. Eventually the Gold Rush happened and the majority of the Mormon community left to Utah. After which, the town was renamed Council Bluffs. As many of us know (although not that it had this name), CB is home to Casino Row, where drunk Nebraskans pour money into the Iowa economy. The city’s mascot is the black squirrel. A few notable residents include John McCain’s father, a former Navy Admiral, and David Yost, Billy the Blue Power Ranger.

Trinity Valley – TV actually has campuses in Athens, Kaufman, Palestine and Terrell, TX, but the athletic department address is in Athens, so that’s what we are going with. I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume they were named for another famous Athens, maybe that one in Georgia? Athens has a solid food history, with a claim to the creation of the first hamburger. John Murchison created the sandwich, not named hamburger at the time, in the late 1880s at his lunch counter. Other food notes, Bonnie and Clyde frequented a café next to the County Courthouse in Athens, and the Athens Dairy Queen was used as a design example for DQs across the country. Athens is also called “The Black Eyed Pea Capital of the World”.

Advantage – I’m guessing Athens has a lot on CB, but hamburgers and DQ are enough to win this one. Trinity Valley.

Notable Alumni

Iowa Western – Not a lot to find for either team, other than former football players. The team has only been around since 2009, but they have sent a couple guys to Iowa, Dan Heiar, Joe Audlehelm, Sean Skradis, Andrew Dawson, and Eric Simmons. I’m not sure how much I can count Wegher as an alumni, but he was there for a time I guess.

Trinity Valley – With a much longer history, TV has put tons of guys in DI and many players in the NFL. Some of the biggest names are Rock Cartwright, Ahtyba Rubin, Matt Bryant, and Hall of Famer John Randle.

Advantage – No competition here, Trinity Valley. Not enough time for Iowa Western to build up their football alumni base, and neither school has any other notable alumni listed.

Decision

Trinity with the big comeback late to take it 3-2.

SUNY Maritime @ Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Friday, September 7 @ 6:00 pm CDT

“Chowder Bowl”

Author: Bristol

Mascots

SUNY Maritime – Privateers.

Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Buccaneers.

Advantage – Buccaneers. Not surprisingly, both mascots are related to the sea. Sadly, I was unable to locate any pictures of costumed mascots. SUNY Maritime’s logo is an old, old wooden ship (named “Diversity” I believe) while MMA’s logo is of a bearded, burly pirate holding a sword and shaking his fist at some unseen enemy. Or perhaps at whoever applied all that mascara. Nevertheless, a slightly effeminate Blackbeard still beats a ship.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

SUNY Maritime – Offensive Coordinator Ed Gardella. Coach Gardella begins his first season as offensive coordinator of the Privateers’ triple option offense. Gardella spent more than 30 years as a high school coach in the tri-state area, coaching future NFL players Ramon Guzman, Sam Garnes and Dequan Mobley. His future is so bright, he has to wear shades.

Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Ed Borden. No biographical information on the MMA coaches page, just awkward-looking pictures of the coaches wearing shirts and ties. However, Coach Borden appears to be wearing a shirt that is too long, a tie that is too short and probably no pants.

Advantage – MMA. No pants always beats sunglasses.

Best Player Names

SUNY Maritime – Chrisrichard Jean-Baptiste. One first name and one last name are simply not enough. Honorable mention to Bill Cosby’s long lost grandson Andrew.

Massachusetts Maritime Academy – David Yerxa. Not a while to choose from here. The academies also shot a hole in my best hair category from last week.

Advantage – Jean-Baptiste. Very disappointing category this time around.

Locations

SUNY Maritime – Throggs Neck, NY. This is a narrow spit of land in the southeastern portion of the Bronx that demarcates the passage between the East River and Long Island Sound. The peninsula was named Vriedelandt, “Land of Peace” by the Dutch. The British attempted to land there in 1776 but were repealed by George Washington and his troops. The movies Awakenings and The Departed were filmed in Throggs Neck.

Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Buzzard’s Bay, MA. Buzzards Bay was settled by Europeans in 1621 and named for the birds that circled the area. The “buzzards” were likely either turkey vultures or ospreys. Buzzards Bay is home to the National Marine Life Center, a marine animal hospital, science, and education center dedicated to rehabilitating stranded sea turtles, seals, dolphins, porpoises, and small whales.

Advantage – Tie. I simply cannot choose between Throggs Neck and Buzzards Bay. I can’t and won’t.

Notable Alumni

SUNY Maritime –Astronaut Scott Kelly; Kevin Mannix, the commander of the Blue Angels; Joseph Hazelwood, master of the Exxon Valdez (not sure I would put that in the promotional materials); and Geraldo Rivera, who attended for 3 years but did not graduate

Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Naval Commander Emory Rice, who rammed and sank a German U-boat while in command of a freighter in World War I; Captain Shane Murphy, the Chief Mate of the Maersk Alabama during the attempted hijacking in April of 2009.

Advantage – MMA. MMA has two guys who fought and defeated enemies at sea. SUNY Maritime has a guy responsible for one of the worst disasters in the history of the world. And the captain of the Exxon Valdez.

Decision

MMA takes this one 3-1-1.

Portland State @ North Dakota – Saturday, September 8 @ 6:05 pm CDT

“Potato Bowl USA”

The Potato Bowl USA is a weeklong festival teaming the University of North Dakota and the Red River Valley potato growing industry and was created in 1865. The week kicked off with Hugo’s Hidden Medallion Contest on Monday. The person who found the medallion won $1,200 worth of groceries from Hugo’s and four free tickets to the football game. Tonight is the World’s Largest French Fry Feed and Fireworks at University Park & Memorial Stadium in Grand Forks, ND. Don’t miss tomorrow night’s Potato Bowl Bash at Big D’s Bar & Grill featuring 80’s and 90’s rock band S.O.L.

Author: Bristol

Mascots:

Portland State – Vikings. Pictures of Victor E. Viking can be found here, here and here.

North Dakota – Fighting Sioux. The NCAA has demanded UND drops the nickname, deeming it offensive. The school and the NCAA have been in a legal battle for several years. Some members of Sioux tribes support the nickname while others want it removed. In other words, some people like it, some people hate it, and the government is telling everyone what to do. Kind of like everything else in life.

Advantage – Portland State. Unless Leif Erickson’s descendants start suing Portland State, Victor E. Viking wins this one in a landslide.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Portland State – Tie – Run game coordinator/offensive line coach Brad Davis was a starting offensive lineman for the University of Oklahoma’s 2002 National Championship team and has coached at Southern University, Wayne State College, Doane College, Texas A&M, North Carolina & Portland State. Linebackers coach/recruiting coordinator Lester Towns was a team captain and All-Pac-10 linebacker at the University of Washington before playing seven seasons in the NFL for Carolina, Arizona and Miami. T0wns set the Carolina rookie tackles record in 2000 and played in Super Bowl XXXVIII.

Fun historical coaching fact – The Run & Shoot offense was first installed at Portland State by Mouse Davis in the 1970s. His QBs at the time were Neil Lomax, who went on to a long NFL career, and June Jones, who is still coaching the Run & Shoot (and zero defense) at SMU.

North Dakota – Cornerbacks coach Wes Nurse was a three-year starter at safety for Boise State and was named first team All-WAC honors and the Broncos’ Defensive MVP in 2003 when he was also a team captain. He has coached at Capital High School in Boise, Boise State, The Citadel, Houston & UC Davis.

Advantage – Portland State. A national champion and an NFL player outweigh Boise State’s defensive MVP from 2003. (Extra demerits for UND’s head coach having played at Iowa State.)

Best Player Names

Portland State – Tie – Henry Organ and Joey Esposito. His dad’s name is Joe Esposito, but not that Joe Esposito. Joey has overcome two bouts with cancer to continue his football career. Random fact – RB D.J. Adams played 2 years at Maryland, setting a school freshman record with 11 rushing TD’s in 2010, including 4 in the Military Bowl against East Carolina.

North Dakota – Conrad Schwarzkopf. Honorable mention goes to R.J. McGill’s bowtie.

Advantage – Portland State. Even if your dad isn’t the Joe Esposito, if your name is Joey Esposito, You’re the Best.

Location

Portland State – Portland, OR. Rose City is one of the most environmentally friendly cities in the world. The city is also known for its large number of microbreweries and microdistilleries as well as its food carts and coffee enthusiasm. It’s 40 breweries are more than any other city in the world. Being such a large city, it is the home of many awesome things: Paul Revere & the Raiders, Matt Groening, Sam Elliott, Sally Struthers, Beverly Cleary and the drafting of Greg Oden.

North Dakota – Grand Forks, ND. The Grand Cities include Grand Forks and its twin city, East Grand Forks, MN. The city lies in the flat region known as the Red River Valley and is prone to flooding with the extreme case being the devastating Red River Flood of 1997. The city was started in 1870 when Alexander Griggs’ steamboat froze in the Red River in late 1870. They spent the winter camping there and the community was incorporated within 11 years. Notable people from Grand Forks include the inventor of the block heater, Andrew Freeman, and Roger Maris.

Advantage – Portland State. This is getting to be a rout, but I’ve been to Portland and it’s gorgeous. Also, Sam Elliott’s mustache is from there.

Notable Alumni

Portland State – Jean M. Auel, author of The Clan of the Cave Bear; Carolyn Davidson, the creator of the swoosh; former NFL player Neil Lomax and Clint Didier; 2002 Miss America Katie Harman; Holly Madison from “The Girls Next Door”; Pitcher Jeff Lahti, a member of the 1982 World Series Champion Cardinals; late MLB player Steve Olin; and actress/singer Courtney Love, who attended but did not graduate.

North Dakota – Sally J. Smith, the current president and CEO of Buffalo Wild Wings (note to Sally – do something about the Moore restaurant, it’s average on it’s best day); essayist and journalist Chuck Klosterman; America’s Next Top Model winner Nicole Linkletter; former (and future?) NBA coach Phil Jackson; NFL player Jim Kleinsasser; and a slew of NHL players including Ed Belfour (btw, you can bid on an autographed Ed Belfour puck with proceeds benefiting the UND Athletic Department here – at $20 right now, it’s a steal!).

Advantage – North Dakota. A random collection of alumni, even by MegaBracket’s standards. However, 9-time NBA Champion coach Phil Jackson secures the win for North Dakota.

Decision

Phil Jackson avoids the shutout but Portland wins 4-1 in a romp.

Central Washington @ Simon Fraser – Saturday, September 8 @ 4:00 pm CDT

Simon Fraser makes its home debut as the first international member of the NCAA.

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Central Washington – Wildcats, specifically Wellington P. Wildcat. Wellington has Facebook and Twitter. Well, sort of – he tweeted twice on October 6, 2009 and never since. Good work, Wellington! Also, Wellington hates the library.

Simon Fraser – Clan. This is not a racist-based nickname but rather a Scottish-based nickname. The physical mascot is a Scottish Terrier named McFogg the Dog. As you can see from his Facebook and Twitter pages, he is much more adept with social media than Wellington. He also had a great time at the SFU career fair in 2011.

Advantage – McFogg the Dog. Wellington is lucky I can’t award negative points.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Central Washington – Offensive line coach John Gariano. No biographical information is given, but no biographical information is needed.

Simon Fraser – Offensive Coordinator Jason Beck. Beck played QB at BYU, serving as the primary backup for John Beck (no relation) for 3 years. He has had coaching stops at BYU, LSU & Weber State before joining Simon Fraser. He also had an excellent picture while at BYU.

Advantage – Central Washington. Like many great pro wrestlers of the past, I bet Coach Gariano is from “parts unknown”. And if you can’t beat out John Beck you aren’t winning anything.

Best Player Names

Central Washington – Osayande Aikhionbare. Honorable mention to Josef Kistler‘s hair and happiness and Griffin Squires‘ disgusting goatee/beard/squirrel.

Simon Fraser – WR Keyon Slowly. Honorable mention to Bibake Uppal‘s beard and the fact that they have a QB from Finland on their roster.

Advantage – Central Washington. Whatever that thing is on Griffin Squires’ face terrifies me, so it wins.

Location

Central Washington – Ellensburg, WA. The county seat of Kittitas County is just east of the Cascade Range on Interstate 90. The city made a bid for the state capital in the late 19th century, losing out to Olympia. Ellenburg hosts the annual Winterhop Brewfest in January as well as Dachshunds on Parade. Current or former residents of Ellenburg include former NFL QB Drew Bledsoe, all four members of the grunge band Screaming Trees and actor Brian Thompson (Buffalo Bob from Joe Dirt).

Simon Fraser – Burnaby, BC. We already spotlighted the city of Burnaby when we learned about the Western Lacrosse Association. The biggest thing to recall is that Burnaby was where actor Michael J. Fox. grew up and attended high school.

Advantage – Simon Fraser. Drew Bledsoe, Buffalo Bob and lots of dachshunds cannot beat Michael J. Fox. Not now, not ever.

Notable Alumni

Central Washington – NFL QB John Kitna; basketball coach Dean Nicholson, who combined with his father Leo to win 1,114 games at CWU, the most by a father-son duo in college basketball history; Stephen L. Nelson, author of “Quicken for Dummies” and 150 other books in the series; Roland “Sandy” Wheeler, the inventor of the Bowflex; and actor Craig T. Nelson

Simon Fraser – Former Toronto Raptors head coach Jay Triano; Pakalitha Mosisili, the Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Lesotho; professional lacrosse player Curtis Hodgson; and Francesco Aquilini, owner of the Vancouver Canucks

Advantage – Coach.

Decision

Michael J. Fox tied it at 2, but Craig T. Nelson unties it for a 3-2 Central Washington victory. That’s what superstars do, especially those with middle initials.

CFB Week 1 “Previews”

Posted: August 30, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks, MB 2013 | Tags: Chadron State, Furman, Hang Time, Joe Tiller = Wilford Brimley, MacGyver, Missouri S&T, Montana State, Oklahoma Panhandle State, Paladin, Samford, Sioux Falls, St. Cloud State | Leave a comment »

[Ed. Note: If you would like to add your own contribution, simply e-mail it in and we will include it in the appropriate week’s previews.]

Furman @ Samford – Saturday, September 1 @ 3:30 pm CDT

Author: Ryan

In celebration of the start of the greatest time of year, and to honor the new President of my association, the head golf coach at Furman, I give you my first preview of the year, Furman at Samford, The I Don’t Remember Why We Are Picking This But I Am Glad We Are Game Of The Week.

We are going to do these “Tale of the Tape Style” this year, but without columns because that seems hard.

Mascots

Furman – Paladins. This technically means a paragon of chivalry, a heroic champion, or any of the 12 peers of French emperor Charlemagne’s court. Their actual mascot is a knight on a horse named Sir Paladin, and he rides Fury. He is all kinds of awesome and looks like he could kick the crap out of Traveler at USC. The Paladin name was first used by a sports writer in the 30s to describe the basketball team, and stuck for them, but did not become the official nickname of all teams until 1961.

Samford – Bulldogs. This technically means slobbery dog that makes Jimmy noises all day long. Their mascot is a costumed bulldog (real bulldogs are hard to come by) named Spike. Samford used to be called Howard College, and I assume they were Bulldogs back then, but I have no idea.

Advantage – Paladins. Always Paladins. (Side note – I was 100% convinced a Paladin was a bird before today).

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Furman – Cornerback/Special Teams Coordinator Antonio Goss. A former 49er and Ram, Goss was a back-up linebacker for 2 49ers (one Joe Montana-led and one Steve Young-led) Super Bowl teams and was the Special Teams Captain at the XXIX game.

[Ed. Note: Goss beat out Furman’s Kickers & Punters coach out for this award even through Bob Price is the happiest old guy ever. Either happy or pooping.]

Samford – A little bit more NFL playing and coaching experience to choose from here, but the obvious choice is Head Coach Pat Sullivan, the 1971 Heisman Trophy winner at Auburn.

Advantage – Heisman always beats Special Teams Captain.

Best Player Names

Furman – Tie – Dakota Derrick (Back-up QB) and Dakota Dozier (All-Conference OT). With any luck these two have their very own cable access western.

Samford – Tie – Trett Hardman (Back-up QB turned TE) and Armando Bonheur (F OL). The best Buddy Cop/Porno flick ever made. Hey Armando, what did you say you wanted to do to my sister? http://samfordsports.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=3496&path=football

Advantage – Hardman & Bonheur. This wasn’t even a fair fight after that photo.

Locations

Furman – Greenville, SC (long known as The Textile Capital of the World). It could be named for Revolutionary General Nathanael Greene, or Isaac Green. Apparently they don’t know. The Lynyrd Skynrd plane crash took off from Greenville after a show there, before running out of fuel in Mississippi. Greenville’s most famous residents include Kevin Garnett, Lucas Glover, Shoeless Joe Jackson, and Jesse Jackson.

Samford – Homewood, AL (a suburb of Birmingham). It has one of the highest population densities in Alabama. The Homewood High band has played in the Tournament of Roses parade more than any other band in the state of Alabama. Children’s Author and Poet Charles Ghigna lives there.

Advantage – Furman. Greenville seems to have a lot on Homewood.

Notable Alumni

Furman –Thomas T. Goldstein, Jr., a Physicist, but one that invented the first video game; Jimmy’s favorite singer Amy Grant; Herman Lay, the founder of Lay’s (which became Frito-Lay); US Soccer player Clint Dempsey; QB Ingle Martin; Sam Wyche; Golfers Brad Faxon and Bruce Fleisher; and Chick Golfers Dottie Pepper, Beth Daniel and Betsy King.

Samford – Coaches Bobby Bowden and Jimbo Fisher; NFLer Cortland Finnegan; and Actor Tony Hale (Buster on Arrested Development).

Advantage – Furman is responsible for Video Games and Doritos. I don’t think anything could top that with our group.

Decision

Furman takes this one 3-2, which will surely lead the Paladins to victory.

Sioux Falls @ St. Cloud State – Thursday, August 30 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Why not steal Ryan’s idea and do the other weekly previews the same way…

Mascots

Sioux Falls – Cougars. Way to be original – no one else ever would have thought to use Cougars as their mascot. However, bonus points for this behind the scenes video on what it takes to be Cooper the Cougar.

St. Cloud State – Huskies. And I thought USF was unoriginal. But, Blizzard the Husky looks like this and has a Facebook page and a Twitter account. (Also, how about the blatant rip-off of the Montreal Canadiens logo by St. Cloud State?)

Advantage – Blizzard the Husky – Facebook, Twitter and Blizzard molesting college chicks in hockey sweaters beat a two-minute clip on some random local TV station.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Sioux Falls – A tie between Coach Tiny (their name, not mine) and Ryan Grubb. Grubb played football at good ol’ BVU (Buena Vista University, my alma mater) while I matriculated in beautiful Storm Lake, IA. He was a four-year starter and team captain at BV before coaching at Kingsley-Pierson High School and South Dakota State. Coach Tiny is Coach Tiny and that’s all he needs.

St. Cloud State – Steve Grimit. All. The. Jowls. Grimit played football and wrestled at Western Illinois (or we like to call it, Willinois) and qualified for the Division I Wrestling National Championship and was a football c0-captain.

(Honorable Mention: Head Coach Scott Underwood. Underwood is from Marion, IA, played at Augustana College in Sioux Falls and has had coaching stops at Augustana, the University of Sioux Falls, and the University of North Dakota. Alas, he has so few jowls…)

Advantage – Sioux Falls. Are you kidding? No one beats Coach Tiny. No one.

Best Player Names

Sioux Falls – Bo Bearshield. Best Hair – Evan Colfack.

St. Cloud State – Tie – Viliamu Sioka Latu & Shaquille Theus. Best Hair – Bo Putrah.

Advantage – Sioux Falls. Shaquille Theus would win if this were basketball but how do you defeat a Bearshield?

Locations

Sioux Falls – Sioux Falls, SD – “The Best Little City in America” and the hometown of a certain co-writer of the weekly football previews. The John Morrell meat packing plant celebrated its 100th anniversary in 2009. Notable residents and natives include actress January Jones; entertainment reporters Pat O’Brien and Mary Hart; World War II fighter pilot Joe Foss; NFL coach Mike Martz; and actor David Soul (Hutch from Starsky & Hutch).

St. Cloud State – St. Cloud, MN – “The Granite City” was named after a city of the same name in France (strike one). It’s first mayor was a slaveowner in the free state of Minnesota and many southerners moved to St. Cloud with their slaves after the Dred Scott decision was declared unconstitutional in 1857 (strike two). Courtroom scenes from The Mighty Ducks were filmed in St. Cloud (one strike removed). Notable natives and residents include former MLB player Jim Eisenreich, and two Jeopardy champions.

Advantage – Sioux Falls. If being the hometown of an original MB member (and Pat O’Brien) isn’t enough, Sioux Falls squares off against the northern slave capital of the United States.

Notable Alumni

Sioux Falls – None listed anywhere that I could find.

Update: (from MB member and Sioux Falls native Ryan)

The only notable USF Alumni is the Head Coach of the most dominant force in MegaBracket Indoor Football, the Sioux Falls Storm.

He has led the Storm to a record of 140-28 in ten seasons.
6 Titles.
Record 40-game winning streak (they say the longest professional winning streak).
3 undefeated seasons.
Before taking the Storm job he was the QB coach at USF for five years. In that time the were 67-3 and won three NAIA titles.
As a QB at USF he led the Cougars to a title in 1997 and was an All-American.
He also teaches at my old high school now – apparently highly successful independent indoor football coaching doesn’t pay the bills.

St. Cloud State – Actor John Hawkes (one of the great “That Guys”); Jodi Huisentruit, a local TV news anchor who went missing in Mason City, IA in 1995 – if you are from where and when I was from, this was a HUGE story. She has never been found; professional wrestler Lars Anderson; Minnesota Twins TV play-by-play announcer Dick Bremer; and Richard Dean Anderson. That’s right – fucking MacGyver went to St. Cloud State.

Advantage – In the biggest rout ever on any planet in any contest, St. Cloud State.

Update: USF at least has a notable alumnus now, but unless Jesus went there, they aren’t beating MacGyver. And probably not even then.

Decision

Sioux Falls takes this one 3-2, but if it had been any other town, MacGyver would have propelled St. Cloud State to the win regardless of the score.

Chadron State @ Montana State – Thursday, August 30 @ 8:05 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Chadron State – Eagles. Portrait and action photos of Elmo Eagle.

Montana State – Bobcats. Champ the Bobcat likes to flex and point.

Advantage – Chadron State. Let’s see – generic mascot? Check and check. Wearing a football uniform? Check and check. Pictures doing mascot-y things? Check and check. Alliteration? Check and no check. Elmo Eagle wins by a letter.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Chadron State – Craig Jerslid. “Coach Jersey” has coached at some awesome schools – South Dakota Tech, Butler Community College, Northwest Mississippi College, and Hutchinson Community College. He was a starting defensive back at Colorado State, including their 9-4 season in 1990 which ended in the Freedom Bowl. (You know why America sucks now? No Freedom Bowl.)

Montana State – Demo Odems. Odems was a four-year letterwinner at WR for the University of Iowa. He played for the Texas Terminators and Grand Rapids Rampage in the Arena Football League and was named Ironman of the Game in Arena Bowl XV in 2001. He as coaching stops at Lancaster HS in Lancaster, TX, Lyndon B. Johnson HS in Austin, TX, Arkansas-Monticello and Wisconsin.

Advantage – Montana State. A guy who played in one Freedom Bowl or a guy who played for Freedom University? No contest.

Best Player Names

Chadron State – Tie – Frantzlee LaCrete and KamRon Tomlinson. Happiest Guy – Josh Borm. Best Hair is difficult – I’m going with Robert Jackson first, Clay Cundall second and Tyler Wright third.

Montana State – Tie – Orenzo Davis and twin brothers Kazz and Kruiz Siewing. Most Republican-like Hair – the aptly named Luke Halliburton. (I don’t make this stuff up folks, I just report it.)

Advantage – Chadron State – High-top fade always defeats Republican hair.

Location

Chadron State – Chadron, NE – the county seat of Dawes County sits near the Museum of the Fur Trade. Notable residents include actor Justin Bruening, the lead role in the failed new Knight Rider series in 2008; and Leslie Lynch King, Sr., the biological father of Gerald Ford.

Montana State – Bozeman, MT – the county seat of Gallatin County is the 4th-largest city in Montana. The area around Bozeman was once known as the Sweet Pea capital of the nation and held a Sweet Pea Carnival from 1906 to 1916. The movie A River Runs Through It was filmed in and around the city. Notable people include two-time Academy Award-winning actor Gary Cooper; musician John Mayer; actress Daniella Deutscher (Julie Connor from Hang Time); and entreprenuer/rich guy Ted Turner.

Advantage – Montana State. Hang Time > new Knight Rider. I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about The Hoff here.

Notable Alumni

Chadron State – former NFL wide receiver Don Beebe; current NFL running back Danny Woodhead; former Golden State Warriors GM Larry Riley; and William David Sanders, a teacher killed in the Columbine school massacre.

Montana State – former NFL and college head coach Dennis Erickson; TV sportscaster Craig Kilborn; Pro Football Hall of Fame kicker Jan Stenerud; 1996 Olympic silver medalist in the hammer throw, Lance Deal; and former Purdue head coach Joe Tiller.

Advantage – Montana State. Don Beebe vs. Jan Stenerud is close but Joe Tiller seals the deal.

Decision

Montana State claims a 3-2 come-from-behind on the strength of Hang Time and Joe Tiller’s mustache.

Oklahoma Panhandle State @ Missouri Science & Technology – Saturday, Septmber 1 @ 6:30 pm CDT

Author: Bristol

Mascots

Panhandle State – Aggies. I can’t find anything about an actual mascot but OPSU does have the Firestone Meat Laboratory.

Missouri S&T – Miners. Joe Miner to be specific. Please use the Joe Miner graphic correctly. Not sure how – here are some tips. He carries a pick ax and a slide rule and terrifies your children.

Advantage – Missouri S&T. Joe Miner has his own meat laboratory and it’s much more frightening than OPSU’s.

Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)

Panhandle State – Devin McDonald. Coach McDonald played this spring for the Louisiana Swashbucklers of the Professional Indoor Football League (in MB, of course). He played collegiately at Navarro College and Angelo State before spending last season as a student assistant at Angelo State.

Missouri S&T – Tie – Gerold Rodriguez and Luke Rayfield. Rodriguez was a wide receiver and kick returner at Arizona and UNLV and is the cousin of former NFL player J.P. Losman. Rayfield has an amazing shaved head/beard with no mustache combination happening.

Advantage – Panhandle State. Rayfield’s look had a slight advantage over the Louisiana Swashbucklers, but Rodriguez being related to J.P. Losman lost it for Missouri S&T.

Best Player Names

Panhandle State – Tie – Neptune Joseph and Jihad’ Wright. Best Hair/Most Awesome – Allston Hadley (3rd from the top on the left side.

Missouri S&T – Smook Thomas. Best Hair – tie between Jack Miller and Logan Turk.

Advantage – Pandhandle State. One player named Neptune and another as big as Jupiter beat out Smook and that one guy from Two-A-Days.

Location

Panhandle State – Goodwell, OK – a town of 1,293 way out in the panhandle of Oklahoma. Was named Goodwell because a good well was found there. Nice work, everyone. Goodwell is the home of the No Man’s Land Museum which has been preserving the Oklahoma Panhandle’s heritage since 1934.

Missouri S&T – Rolla, MO – the county seat of Phelps county and home of the headquarters of the Mark Twain National Forest, the only United States National Forest in Missouri. The town was named when new settlers from North Carolina voted to name it after Raleigh, NC, but they chose to spell it as if they had lived in Missouri all their lives. Notable people from Rolla include Civil War Union General Samuel Curtis and Olympic gymnastics gold medalist Shannon Miller.

Advantage – Missouri S&T. I’ve been through Rolla many times and I never thought I would says this, but Rolla wins easily.

Notable Alumni

Panhandle State – NAIA All-American running back Jim Holder, the only Aggie in the College Football Hall of Fame; and former NFL safety Earl Eubanks.

Missouri S&T – 2004 World Series of Poker champion Greg “Fossilman” Raymer; Jack Dorsey, the creator of Twitter; and astronauts Thomas Akers, Janet Kavandi and Sandra Magnus.

Advantage – Missouri S&T. 3 astronauts and the guy who created Twitter seem a little more impressive than two football players no one outside the panhandle have ever heard of.

Decision

On the strength of Joe Miner’s creepiness, Twitter and how depressing Goodwell, OK seems, Missouri S&T ekes out a 3-2 victory.

MegaBracket Info and Ramblings

Undefeated (125 – 155 last week without CIS)

Winless (122 – 150 last week without CIS)

Battles of Undefeateds (Record, Point Differential) – [8]

Battles of Defeateds (Record, Point Differential) – [14]

Mismatches – Undefeated vs. Winless (Record, Point Differential) – [21]

Miscellaneous Notes

Last Week’s Battles of Undefeateds (18)

Last Week’s Battles of Defeateds (14)

Last Week’s Mismatches (Undefeated vs. Winless) (22)

Undefeated (155)

Winless (150)

Battles of Undefeateds (19)

Battles of Defeateds (14)

Mismatches (Undefeated vs. Winless) (23)

Miscellaneous Notes

Worcester Polytechnic Institute (WPI) @ Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI) – Saturday, September 22 @ 12:00 pm CDT

Montana Tech @ Rocky Mountain – Saturday, September 22 @ 2:00 pm CDT

Northern Iowa @ Youngstown State – Saturday, September 22 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Rutgers @ South Florida – Thursday, September 13 @ 6:30 pm CDT

Kutztown @ Bloomsburg – Saturday, September 15 @ 1:30 pm CDT

Baldwin-Wallace @ John Carroll – Saturday, September 15 @ 5:00 pm CDT

Calgary @ Manitoba – Saturday, September 15 @ 1:00 pm CDT

Rochester @ St. John Fisher – Saturday, September 15 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Iowa Western @ Trinity Valley – Saturday, September 8 @ 3:00 pm CDT

SUNY Maritime @ Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Friday, September 7 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Portland State @ North Dakota – Saturday, September 8 @ 6:05 pm CDT

Furman @ Samford – Saturday, September 1 @ 3:30 pm CDT

Sioux Falls @ St. Cloud State – Thursday, August 30 @ 6:00 pm CDT

Chadron State @ Montana State – Thursday, August 30 @ 8:05 pm CDT

Oklahoma Panhandle State @ Missouri Science & Technology – Saturday, Septmber 1 @ 6:30 pm CDT

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