Justin Timberlake’s Shriner’s Kid’s Movie Lines Theme Team

This week’s golf event (Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open, no seriously) theme team is again movie based, but more specifically, memorable and/or funny movie lines. I give you the Movie Lines Theme Team…

1. [very sad 80s synth music] “Fight against the sadness Arjun Atwal Artax!!!! Arjun AtwalArtax, please, you’re letting the sadness of the swamps get to you. You have to try. You have to care, for me. You’re my friend. I love you.”

…Pretty much verbatim what I’m going to be saying to Arjun Atwal all weekend for a miracle Block 2 comeback.

2. “You got an eleven, you always Dennis Double Downs on eleven!”

Hopefully he’s money even if he doesn’t know it.

3. Three(ish) words:

Release

the

Jason Kokrak-en

If Jason doesn’t release the Kokrak-en this weekend I may have to sic Neeson on him.

4. “Can you blow me where the Rod Pampling is?”

That’s right, two Favreau scenes in one theme team, hopefully that doubles my comeback chances.

5. “When Cameron Tringale was in Egypt’s land, let my Cameron Tringale gooooooo.”

Alternates:
1. “John Mallinger, Mallinger….” “Mallinger, Mallinger?” “Mallinger!” “Mallinger!”

2. True this isn’t a movie line, but I dare you not to sing Gary Christian every time you hear this song, and hopefully he’s motoring all weekend.

British Open Golf Theme Team

The inaugural MB2013 All-initials Theme Team didn’t turn out so well last week. I’m going to blame that on the fact that I didn’t write a blog post about it, or it could be that K.J. Choi, J.J. Henry, Y.E. Yang, D.A. Points, and D.J. Trahan suck as picks. Either way, that’s the beauty of the Theme Team, you don’t know what you’re going to get… other than hilarity… hopefully.

And without further ado, may I present to you the British Open JP Theme Team, this week the Theme Team goes to the movies!

• Star Trek II: The Wrath of Simon Khan:
  With the aide of Ricardo Mantalban, Captain Chris Kirk must stop an old nemesis, Simon Khan, from using his son’s life-generating device, Claret Jug, as the ultimate weapon.
• The Tiger in the Cabin in the Woods:
  Four friends and Thor go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods with a tiger, where they get more than they bargained for from the tiger. Together, they must discover the truth about the tiger in the cabin in the woods.
• Justin Leonard Part 6:
  A golfer is called out of retirement to save the British Open (for the 6th time) from an evil genius, Bill Cosby.
• She’s the Hunter Mahan:
  When her brother, Hunter, decides to ditch for a couple weeks in Lancashire, Amanda Bynes heads over to his elite boarding school, disguises herself as him, and proceeds to fall for one of her golf teammates. Little does she realize she’s not the only one with romantic troubles, as she, as he, gets in the middle of a series of intermingled love affairs involving Channing Tatum.
• Ted Potter, Jr, and The Golfer’s Stone :
  Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy with a great golfing destiny proves his worth while attending Royal Lytham Golf Academy. Then Ted ignores warnings not to return to Royal Lytham only to find the school plagued by a series of mysterious attacks and a strange voice haunting him. And in Ted’s third year at Royal Lytham; not only does he have a new “Defense Against the Slice” teacher, but there is also trouble brewing. Convicted murderer Phil Mickelson has escaped the Golfers’ Purgatory and is coming after Ted. Next, Ted finds himself selected as an underaged competitor in a dangerous multi-golfer school competition. Then, with their warning about Lord Van Pelt’s return scoffed at, Ted and Prof. DumbleDuval are targeted by the golfing authorities as an authoritarian bureaucrat slowly seizes power at Royal Lytham. As Ted begins his 6th year at Royal Lytham Golf Academy, he discovers an old book marked mysteriously “This book is the property of the Shark” and begins to learn more about Van Pelt’s dark past. Then as Ted races against time and evil to destroy the Evil Putters, he uncovers the existence of three most powerful objects in the Golfing world: the Deathly Drivers. Finally, Ted, Nick Watney and Retief Goosen search for Van Pelt’s remaining Evil Putters in their effort to destroy the Dark Lord Van Pelt.

Alternates:

• Win a Date with Todd Hamilton:
  A small-town girl wins a date with a male golf pro through a contest. When the date goes better than expected, a love triangle forms between the girl, the golf pro, and Topher Grace.
• The Robert Rock:
  A renegade Ed Harris and his group of U.S. golfers take over Alcatraz and threaten San Francisco Bay with biological drivers. Nic Cage playing a chemical golf club specialist and Sean Connery, playing the only man to have ever escaped from the Robert Rock attempt to prevent golfing chaos.