CFB Week 6 “Previews”
Posted: October 4, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks, Uncategorized | Tags: Carleton (MN), Central Missouri, Cumberlands, Faulkner, Gorilla playing Phil Collins, Grambling State, Joe Esposito, Macalester, Pittsburg State, Prairie View A&M |Leave a comment »Cumberlands @ Faulkner – Saturday, October 6 @ 1:30 pm CDT
Author: Ryan
Mascots
Cumberlands – Patriots. They’ve already reminded me of Tom Brady, so that’s not a good way to start. Previous mascots at Cumberlands were the Redhounds and Indians, but apparently these weren’t ‘Merican enough. The college decided to make the name change to Patriots “which is more in keeping with our college’s architecture.” Sure. Things are not going well Cumberlands, could anything turn it around…maybe a little Patriot Pride. You sir have won all mascot challenges for the rest of time.
Faulkner – Who Gives a Shits. I mean Eagles. Sadly not Eagle! Baldwin the Bald Eagle wears football jerseys and is not The Best.
Advantage – Joe Esposito.
Coaching Staff – Most Awesome Member
Cumberlands – All of these are on one page, but make sure to check out how high Michael Collins can get his chest in a photo. And he might not be a coach, but do yourself a favor and scroll down the page to check out all that is Manager Brian Campbell. But our winner here is Head Coach John Bland, a four-year letterman at QB for Arkansas in the 80s, a team that went to four straight bowl games.
Faulkner – The winner here is OC/QB Coach Nick Coleman, who was one of Dwight Dasher’s back-ups at Middle Tennesse. Dasher did not steal any checks from Coleman.
Advantage – Cumberlands. Because Michael Collins told me so.
Best Name
Cumberlands – Freshman OL Caleb Turnipseed and his brother Junior OL Shane Turnipseed. I assume their father was Steve Turnip.
Faulkner – A few winners here – Senior DL Paramore Tapa, Junior OL CoCo Lattimore, but nothing tops Senior DB Zeke Pigg.
Advantage – Faulkner.
Location
Cumberlands – Williamsburg, Kentucky. The Cumberland river flows through Williamsburg, hence the school name. The town thrived upon its founding due to its fresh water springs, and later lumber and coal industries. At its peak Williamsburg had more millionaires per capita than any other city in the nation, which I assume was 1. Williamsburg’s top attraction is the nearby Cumberland Falls State Resort Park, home of the Cumberland Falls, which is also known as Little Niagara or Niagara of the South. It is the only venue in the Western Hemisphere where a Moonbow or Lunar Rainbow is visible on clear nights with a full moon. Patricia Neal, who won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1963 for Hud, was born nearby but moved to Knoxville, TN at a young age. Also, I read this story yesterday before selecting this game to preview – http://www.wate.com/story/19689945/chinese-restaurant-shut-down-for-bringing-in-road-kill. What a disgusting coincidence.
Faulkner – Montgomery, Alabama. Obviously a much larger town that Williamsburg, Montgomery is the capital of Alabama. A group of European-American settlers established the town in 1817ish. In 1886 Montgomery became the first town in the US to install city-wide electric street cars. Rosa Parks was arrested in Montgomery for refusing to give up her bus seat to a white man, which helped make Montgomery one of the focal points of the modern civil rights movement. Hyundai has a factory in Alabama that makes Elantras, so I assume that is where my car was born. They are also home to one of the most successful fake baseball teams of our time, the Montgomery Burns. Some notable residents include Rosa Parks, Tommy Shaw of Styx, Hank Williams, Sr., and Hall of Fame QBs Bart Starr and Tarvaris Jackson.
Advantage – Faulkner. They had this one in a runaway.
Notable Alumni
Cumberlands – MMA Fighter Dustin Center, a couple of ex-governors of Kentucky, and that’s it.
Faulkner – Former MLB Pitcher Shane Reynolds (fun fact Reynolds was the opposing starting pitcher in the game Kerry Wood struck out 20 batters), a congressman, and that’s it.
Advantage – Faulkner. Shane Reynolds beats an MMA fighter I’ve never heard of.
Decision
A big comeback victory for Faulkner in this one on the strength of Zeke Pigg.
Macalester @ Carleton (MN) – Saturday, October 6 @ 1:00 pm CDT
“The Book of Knowledge”
I was not able to locate much information regarding the Book of Knowledge. The teams have been playing for the book since 1999 with Carleton winning the last 9 games in a row. They lead the overall series 49-9-1.
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Macalester – Scots. I spent 10 minutes looking and could not find any explanation of why. Fail.
Carleton – Knights. No further information available.
Advantage – No one. I know you are D-III institutions, but let’s get a few web pages up. It’s 2012 for fuck’s sake.
Best Player Name
Macalester– Tie – Sophomore RB Samson Bialostok, freshman QB T. Joe Loiselle, freshman RB Zandy Sowell, senior LB Geo Chester and sophomore OL Djoser Ramsey and his white-guy dreadlocks.
Carleton – Tie – the very Scandanavian duo of Henrik Byrlev & Jens Lillehei. However, they made my job easy by showing pictures of all the players. Buzz from Home Alone. Extremely happy. The Bounty guy. I don’t even know.
Advantage – Macalester. Great work on the pictures, Carleton, but since the category is names Macalester wins it easily.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Macalester – Defensive line coach Lee Nystrom, who looks a little bit like Dave Wannstedt. He was a four-year starter at Macalester and was named team MVP in 1972. He coached defensive line for the Scots from 1976 – 1984 and returned this year after a 28-year hiatus. Nystrom was inducted into the Macalester Hall of Fame in 1986 and played for the Green Bay Packers from 1973 to 1975.
Carleton – Wide receivers coach James Kilian. Kilian was a QB at Tulsa and was named second-team All-Conference in 2003. He was drafted in the 7th round by the Chiefs in 2005 and spent time with them, the Atlanta Falcons, the Hamburg Sea Devils (Europe), the Nashville Kats (AFL), and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (CFL). Kilian was a graduate assistant and then quarterbacks coach at Tulsa and the running backs coach at LSU for one reason before landing at Carleton. Honorable mention goes to Offensive Coordinator Dick Tressel. He spent the last 11 years at Ohio State, the last 8 as running backs coach. However, no mention of his brother anywhere in the bio.
Advantage – Macalester. Both schools have a guy with NFL ties but having a Tressel means you lose the tiebreaker.
Location
Macalester – St. Paul, MN. St. Paul is the capital of and second largest city in Minnesota. It comprises the “Twin Cities” with adjoined Minneapolis. The settlement was originally known as Pig’s Eye for a tavern located there but was renamed Saint Paul by the first Catholic pastor in the region. It’s motto is “The most livable city in America”. In 1857, the territorial legislature voted to move the capital to Saint Peter. However, Joe Rolette, a territorial legislator, stole the physical text of the approved bill and went into hiding, thus preventing the move. On May 11, 1858, Minnesota was admitted to the union as the thirty-second state, with Saint Paul as the capital. It is home to the Saint Paul Winter Carnival which began in 1886 after a New York reporter called the city “another Siberia”. Notable natives include Peanuts creator Charles Schulz; painter LeRoy Nieman; and MLB players Dave Winfield, Paul Molitor, Jack Morris and Joe Mauer (give the Twins credit, they employed all of them at one time or another).
Carleton– Northfield, MN. Northfield is a town of approximately 20,000 which has become a suburb and bedroom community on the southern fringe of the Twin Cities metropolitan area. It was founded in 1855 by John North. The school was originally called Northfield College in 1866 but was renamed after William Carleton when the latter donated $50,000 to the school in 1871. In 1876, Jesse James and the James-Younger gang attempted to rob First National Bank of Northfield. Local citizens, recognizing what was happening, armed themselves and resisted the robbers and successfully thwarted the theft. The gang killed the bank’s cashier, Joseph Lee Heywood and a Swedish immigrant, Nicholas Gustafson. A couple of members of the gang were killed in the street, while the rest were cornered near Madelia, Minnesota. Jesse and Frank James escaped west into the Dakotas, while the remaining gang members were killed or taken into custody.The town’s motto is “Cows, Colleges, and Contentment” reflecting the influence of dairy farms in the area. Cereal producer Malt-O-Meal has a plant in the town on the Cannon River. Notable natives include professional juggler Jon Wee; former St. Louis Rams offensive lineman Mark Setterstrom; former New Orleans Saints offensive lineman Chad Setterstrom; and actress Alexandra Holden (one of Ross’ girlfriends on Friends).
Advantage – Carleton. In a huge upset, Northfield knocks off St. Paul. The townspeople “armed themselves” and drove off Jesse and Frank James. That’s good enough for me.
Notable Alumni
Macalester – Diplomat Kofi Annon; former U.S Vice President Walter Mondale; talent agent Ari Emanuel, the basis for Ari Gold of Entourage; 80’s pop group Information Society; actor Carl Lumbly (Detective Mark Petrie on 104 episodes of Cagney & Lacey); and actor/director Peter Berg (directed Friday Night Lights & Hancock).
Carleton – former Meet the Press host Garrick Utley; Barrie Osborne, producer of the Lord of the Rings trilogy; Monkees member Peter Tork (did not graduate); and a crapload of authors and politicians I’ve never heard of.
Advantage – Macalester. The politicians, musicians, and movie directors/producers cancel each other out leaving Cagney & Lacey for the win.
Decision
Macalester wins it 3-1-1 thanks to Cagney & Lacey, a quintet of great names and not employing a Tressel.
Central Missouri @ Pittsburg State – Saturday, October 6 @ 2:00 pm CDT
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Central Missouri– Mules. (The women’s teams are called the Jennies.) Here is a look at a day in the life of Mo the Mule. Also, their mule logo is awesome.
Pittsburg State – Gorillas. They provide a great explanation as to why they are the Gorillas. The mascot’s name is Gus. And Gus loves Phil Collins.
Advantage – Phil Collins. Both teams have unique, alliterative and awesome mascots. Unless Mo the Mule puts outs a video doing spin moves to Take Me Home Tonight, Gus wins. Forever.
[Ed. Note: I Googled “gorilla wrestling a mule” because, you know, I do shit like that. I didn’t find any evidence this has happened, but I found a good quote: “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you are tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.”]
Best Player Name
Central Missouri – Tie – Freshman kicker Niko Schwenneker (from Knob Noster, MO), senior LB Ovie Oghenejobo, junior DB Boy Humphrey, and (from an Iowa fan’s perspective, one of the best names ever) sophomore QB Hayden Hawk. And now, behold, the greatest mustache in college football history – Layne Moore. (He is from Wahoo, NE, which is a terrific place. If you buy two pieces of Casey’s Pizza you get a free fountain drink whether you want it or not.)
Pittsburg State – Tie – Sophomore LB Tyler Disney, sophomore OL Boston Higgins, sophomore DL Tank Burns, junior WR Trey Derryberry and freshman long snapper Steyr Stubenrauch. De’Vante Busby is very happy to be a Gorilla.
Advantage – The love child of Rollie Fingers and Tom Selleck. Pitt State had no chance after that.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Central Missouri – Head coach Jim Svoboda is a native of Denison, IA and is one of three Iowa natives on the Mule coaching staff. Svoboda played at Northwestern College in Orange City, IA and began his coaching career there as well. He has since coached for Dana College, Eastern New Mexico, Nebraska Wesleyan (head coach for 7 seasons), Northwest Missouri State, UCLA (where he was the finalist for the Frank Broyles Assistant Coach of the Year Award in 2005) and Montana State. He has been a part of 3 national championship teams – 1 at Northwestern and 2 at Northwest Missouri State – and UCLA made it to a bowl game in each of his 3 seasons there. The 2010 Central Missouri team won the first playoff game in school history and became the first team with a 5,000 yard passer and a 1,000 yard rusher.
Pittsburg State – Wide receivers coach Neal Philpot (who looks a bit like Harland Williams) was a four year starter at QB for Pittsburg State. He was a two-time All-American who became the first QB in NCAA history to run and pass for more than 1,000 yards in a season 3 times. He set a conference record with 10,168 yards of total offense and led the 2004 team to a Division II runner-up finish. He has been on the coaching staff since his graduation. Additionally, running backs coach John Pierce kind of looks like Tom Selleck – Tom Selleck now, not Magnum P.I. If he looked like a young Tom Selleck, Neal Philpot would have had to take a seat.
Advantage – Central Missouri. A tough call here with a long and storied and coaching career versus a very prolific playing career. However, Svoboda gets the edge based on 3 national titles and being from Iowa.
Location
Central Missouri – Warrensburg, MO. Warrensburg was founded in 1856 by settler Martin Warren. One of the elementary schools (Martin Warren Elementary) is named after the town’s founder. Warrensburg is close to the site of a horrific Missouri Pacific train wreck that occurred in 1904. An eastbound passenger train collided head-on with a westbound freight, killing 30 people. The passenger train was packed with people en route to St. Louis for the 1904 World’s Fair. The phrase “Man’s best friend” is based on a famous trial over the killing of Old Drum, a dog commemorated by a statue in front of the Warrensburg Courthouse. Notable natives include John William “Blind” Boone, an African-American concert pianist considered a pioneer of modern music; Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People; Kimberly Wyatt, former member of the Pussycat Dolls; American Idol season 7 winner David Cook; and current Oklahoma governor Mary Fallon.
Pittsburg State – Pittsburg, KS. Pittsburg was founded in 1876 and originally known as Iowa City. No mention is made as to why they dropped such a fine name. On October 23, 1864, a wagon train of refugees had come from Fort Smith, Arkansas, and was escorted by troops from the 6th Kansas Cavalry under the command of Col. William Campbell. These were local men from Cherokee, Crawford, and Bourbon Counties. Their enlistment was over, and they were on their way to Fort Leavenworth to be dismissed from service. They ran into the 1st Indian Brigade led by Maj. Andrew Jackson Piercy near the current Pittsburg Waste Water Treatment Plant. They continued to the north when a small group of wagons broke away in an unsuccessful rush to safety. The Confederate troops caught up with them and burned the wagons. The death toll was three Union soldiers and 13 civilian men who had been with the wagon train. It was likely that one of the Confederates had also been killed. A granite marker memorial for the “Cow Creek Skirmish” was placed near the Crawford County Historical Museum on October 30, 2011. Notable natives include actor Hugh Gillin (the sheriff from Psycho II and Psycho III); 1930s-1950s professional wrestler “Wild” Red Berry; Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer; and former Los Angeles Dodgers player, coach and manager Bill Russell.
Advantage – Warrensburg. A close race, but since Pittsburg changed its name from Iowa City, it loses.
Notable Alumni
Central Missouri – former Kansas men’s basketball coach Phog Allen, for whom the university’s fieldhouse is named; Houston Astros owner Jim Crane; Grant Curtis, executive producer of Spider-Man 1, 2 & 3; former WWE wrestler “The Natural” Butch Reed; former Drake and Iowa State men’s basketball coach Maury John, who lead Drake to the Final Four in 1969; actor Allan Kayser (Bubba Higgins on Mama’s Family); Carrie Nation, leader of the Temperance Movement; currently suspended NFL defensive coordinator Gregg Williams; former MLB pitcher Jerry Reuss; radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller; and James Evans, the inventor of Cheerios.
Pittsburg State – former Texas A&M football coach Dennis Franchione; former MLB player Sherm Lollar; NFL punter Brian Moorman; former NFL player Ronald Moore; and actor Gary Busey (did not graduate).
Advantage – Tie. Phog Allen, The Natural, Mama’s Family, Carrie Nation and the inventor of Cheerios = Gary Busey.
Decision
Central Missouri wins it 3-1-1 but I almost made an author’s decision to award the win to Pittsburg State on the strength of Gary Busey alone.
Prairie View A&M vs. Grambling State – Saturday, October 6 @ 6:00 pm CDT
“State Fair Classic”
The State Fair Classic has been annually at the Texas State Fair since 1925. The game has seen many teams since its inception and has featured these two schools each year since 1992.
[Ed. Note: The use of the word “classic” is debatable. Grambling State comes in 0-4 and Prairie View A&M 0-5. Although, MB does love a good pillow fight.]
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Prairie View A&M – Panthers. Here is Prairie View’s female mascot practicing for the 2012 Mascot “Dance Like a Stripper” contest.
Grambling State – Tigers.
Advantage – Panthers. In a battle of nondescript feline mascots, the one that doubled as my high school mascot wins. And earns a few singles.
Best Player Name
Prairie View A&M – Tie – Junior DT Alpha Kamara and WR Jamal Jupiter. QB De’Auntre Smiley is just that. And something seems different about the kicker and the punter from the rest of the squad.
Grambling State – Tie – Freshman RB Shaquille Traylor (only 5’11” so not the love child of Shaquille O’Neal and Robert Traylor), freshman WR Ka’Jandre Domnio and freshman RB Jeremy Runner.
Advantage – Grambling State. A RB named Runner is good enough for me.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Prairie View A&M – Safeties coach Bubba McDowell. McDowell played 7 years in the NFL, the first 6 for the Houston Oilers and the last for the Carolina Panthers in their inaugural year. He earned NFL All-Pro honors in 1991 and was named to two different All-Rookie team in 1989. He was a four-time letterman at Miami (FL) in college and was a starter on the undefeated 1987 National Championship team. After working for several years in the private sector following his playing career, McDowell joined the coaching ranks in 2003 at Texas Southern. He has also coached at Houston and Willowridge High School in addition to PVAM.
Grambling State – Head coach Doug Williams. Williams was a first round choice of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1978 and led the team to its first 3 playoff appearances in 4 seasons. He jumped to the USFL following the 1982 season because he was the lowest-paid starting QB in the NFL and was paid less than 12 backups. After the USFL was shut down in 1986 Williams signed with the Washington Redskins, coached by Williams’ offensive coordinator with the Bucs, Joe Gibbs. In 1987, Williams started only 2 games, but relieved starter Jay Schroeder 3 other times and was named the starter for the playoffs. He led the Redskins to the Super Bowl title in a 42-10 rout of the Denver Broncos. Williams was named MVP after throwing for 4 TDs. Williams is in his 2nd stint as Grambling State head coach and has also coached in the collegiate ranks at Navy and Morehouse.
Advantage – Grambling State. Bubba McDowell was an excellent player, but Doug Williams was a Super Bowl MVP.
Location
Prairie View A&M – Prairie View, TX. Prairie View is town of about 4,000 people in the Houston Metropolitan Area. The city was established in 1969 with the motto: “Productive, United, Indomitable.” Greyhound Bus Lines serves the Prairie View Station at Unco Food Store. It’s website heralds the town as “A City at the Point on the Frontiers of Change”. I don’t know what the hell that means. That is all the information I could find about Prairie View.
Grambling State – Grambling, LA. Grambling is a town of around 4,700 people in the Ruston Metropolitan Area. [Ed. Note: There is a Ruston Metropolitan Area?] The link to the city of Grambling’s website on Wikipedia takes you to a site entirely in Japanese that may or may not be selling furniture. I don’t think the city has an actual website.
Advantage – Prairie View. By default since they at least have a website and a motto.
Notable Alumni
Prairie View A&M– Rapper Kirko Bangz; former NFL Zelmo Beatty; 5-time MLB All-Star Cecil Cooper; Terry Ellis, member of R&B group En Vogue; Pro Football Hall of Fame member Ken Houston; Frederick Patterson, the founder of the United Negro College Fund; and actor Mr. T (did not graduate).
Grambling State – Eight-time Mr. Olympia winner Ron Coleman; NFL Hall of Fame member Willie Brown; Grammy-winning musician Erykah Badu (did not graduate); writer Judi-Ann Mason, who wrote for the sitcom “Good Times” and wrote the screenplay for Sister Act II; and Doug Williams.
Advantage – Prairie View A&M. Mr. T beats Sister Act II. Figuratively and probably literally.
Decision
A fun preview is won 3-2 by Prairie View and Mr. T.
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