CFB Week 5 “Previews”
Posted: September 27, 2012 Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Dickinson, Franklin & Marshall, Grand Valley State, Lebanon Valley, Michigan Tech, Widener, Wisconsin-Eau Claire, Wisconsin-Stout Leave a comment »Widener @ Lebanon Valley – Saturday, September 29 @ 12:00 pm CDT
Author: Ryan
After squeaking out a 90-0 victory over Wilkes last weekend, we need to take a look at how Widener stacks up against this week’s opponent, Lebanon Valley. A few quick notes on Widener’s win last week and their year thus far. The 90 points was a school record but fell shy of the D-III record of 105 by Rockford in their 2003 victory over mighty Trinity Bible College. Widener put up 651 yards of total offense (which is actually less than I would have expected), and in fact had more yards in their 67-0 victory over Misericordia the week before. Starting QB Chris Haupt had 6 TD tosses, 4 of 50 yards or more. Even Junior Backup QB Tevin Campbell got in on the act with 69 yards rushing and a TD. In 4 games this year Widener has outscored their opponents 261-23. But we are going to preview this game anyway.
Mascot
Widener – Pride. The new mascot was chosen in 2006 or 2007 (it’s a little unclear), when they retired the old mascot, Pioneer. Pride was chosen over a few options, one of which was Keystones. That would be a failure folks. Their logo is many Lions, and these two like to hug like Turk & JD.
Lebanon Valley – Flying Dutchmen. Lebanon Valley is located in the center of Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and they were named for that reason, and not after the Ghost Ship. Or this Ghost Ship. Their mascot is the Flying Dutchman, which can terrify children while pooping in both costume and cartoon form. In his free time he enjoys wrestling lions, which should come in handy this week.
Advantage – Lebanon Valley. Even the Flying Dutchman is pissed they didn’t go with Keystones at Widener. And because I saw him on Saturday, I can tell you Keith Stone is also less than pleased.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Widener – Safeties/Co-Special Teams Coach Colin Hitschler. Not a lot going on at Widener, but Hitschler worked for the Chiefs in 2010 as a player personnel assistant and in spring training with the Eagles in 2009. Oh yeah, and he looks like this. And apparently wrestled at Penn in college.
Lebanon Valley – WR Coach Greg Drake got consideration for his lengthy bio and general disposition, as did Secondary coach Corey Wenger for really liking getting his picture taken, but the winner here is TE/OL/Strength & Conditioning Coach Guy Bennardo and his flattop. Guy served as the S&C Coach for Pitt for one season in 1991-92 and as the Assistant Coordinator of Corporate Fitness for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1992-94
Advantage – Lebanon Valley. Anyone who may have given Jim Leyland health tips is a winner in my book.
Best Name
Widener – Other than the aforementioned R&B superstar Tevin Campbell there is Freshman RB Couve LaFate, and Senior TE Dom DePasquale, who I hope makes another Cannonball Run someday.
Lebanon Valley – Senior WR Yahya McIntyre.
Advantage – Lebanon Valley. I let Prince make the call one this one as he had a player in both, and he chooses Yeahhhhh.
Location
Widener – Chester, PA. Chester is located directly between the cities of Philadelphia, PA and Wilmington, DE. I just spent three days in Wilmington and I can tell you that Chester seems quite awesome. Chester is right next to the Philadelphia International Airport, and is home to a Harrah’s Casino that overlooks a prison (things I learned while driving through). Chester was named after the English city of Chester by William Penn on his first visit to the city (it had previously been called Finlandia and Upland). Chester was a very large ship building hub, and two ships in the US Navy have been designated the USS Chester in its honor. Chester claims the title, as do a few other places, as Birthplace of the Hoagie. In case you wanted to drive to New Jersey, Chester is home to the Commodore Barry Bridge. Chester’s newest arrival is PPL Park, home to the MLS’ Philadelphia Union. PPL Park is a soccer specific stadium at the base of the Commodore Barry Bridge that opened in 2010. PPL Park, which looks pretty cool, has also served as the host of the Collegiate Rugby Championship the last two years and has hosted college football games, including The Battle of the Blue between Villanova and Delaware, and quarterfinal matches in the NCAA D-I Men’s Lacrosse Championship. PPL Park will serve as the host for the Army-Navy soccer match in 2012 and 2013, a game that had traditionally been played on-campus. Basically, lots of MB happens at PPL. Bill Halley & His Comets (Rock Around the Clock) formed in Chester in 1952. Famous people whose mouths are open right now that were born in Chester include Bo Ryan. NBA star Tyreke Evans also grew up in Chester.
Lebanon Valley – Annville Township, PA. Annville itself is very small (4,000), but is home to former WWE Wrestler “The Lethal Weapon” Steve Blackman (you may remember him from his use of nunchucks). Annville is basically a suburb of Lebanon, PA, where former NFL QBs Frank Reich and Kerry Collins both played HS football.
Advantage – Widener. This one wasn’t really a fair fight, even with Bo Ryan’s mouth dragging them down, while dragging on the floor.
Notable Alumni
Widener – Director Cecil B. DeMille (Cleopatra, The Ten Commandments – back when known as the Pennsylvania Military College), NFL Star Billy “White Shoes” Johnson, St. Joe’s Basketball Coach Phil Martelli, and Matthew McGrory – The World’s Tallest Actor (Bubble Boy, Big Fish, The Devil’s Rejects).
Lebanon Valley – A bunch of major city Orchestra members, and Quarterback Henry “Two Bits” Homan, one of the smallest players in NFL history, who is rumored to be the first person to celebrate a touchdown.
Advantage – Again, it’s Widener in a landslide. If the Giant Guy from Bubble Boy went there, they win.
Decision
My research tells me Lebanon Valley is going to win this one, but my brain says otherwise.
Franklin & Marshall @ Dickinson – Saturday, September 29 @ 12:00 pm CDT
“Conestoga Wagon / Battle for the Wagon”
The series started on October 30, 1889, with a 10-0 Dickinson win. The teams gathered again on November 28th of that year, with F&M posting a 22-0 shutout. Since 1963, the F&M Diplomats and Dickinson Red Devils have played for a model of the wagon that transported both teams to play each other in the two 1889 meetings. A gift of F&M Athletic Director J. Shober Barr and Dickinson A.D. Dave Eavenson, the trophy, created by Amish craftsmen in 1963, is meant to symbolize the friendly gridiron rivalry between the two institutions. F&M holds a 25-21 advantage since the inception.
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Franklin & Marshall – Diplomats. There is a long-winded web page that explains why they are the diplomats. To make a long, boring story short, some dude in the 30’s called them diplomats either before or after a game and the name stuck.
Dickinson – Red Devils. Basically the exact same story as F&M, but the writer called them Red Devils instead of Diplomats.
Advantage – Red Devils. At least that makes it sound like they played hard. Diplomats makes it sound like they got their asses kicked but raised everyone’s taxes later on in revenge. And their explanation was a paragraph instead of a full page.
Best Player Name
Franklin & Marshall – Tie – Freshman DB Hannibal Robinson, a member of the A-Team, and Junior LB Leo Chubinishvili, who is from Georgia. The country. Peter Gumas is at least 35 years old.
Dickinson – Senior RB Bligh Cassidy.
Advantage – F&M takes it this disappointing category by virtue of the A-Team reference and Chubs.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Franklin & Marshall – All the coaches are on the same page. The winner is defensive coordinator Craig Sutyak (2nd coach listed), who was very surprised by the camera. Before F&M, he coached at Allegheny, Bowdoin (Polar Bears!) & Fordham. He was a three-year letterwinner at Dickinson and is second in the school’s history in kickoff return yardage. He’s now on the other side of the Battle for the Wagon. Traitor!
Dickinson – Offensive backs coach Scott Shank. Coach Shank is back for his 23rd season at Dickinson and has also served as head coach at Carlisle and Boiling Springs High Schools. He earned All-ACC academic honors as a member of the Maryland football team in 1970.
Advantage – Dickinson. They will Shank the traitor.
Location
Franklin & Marshall – Lancaster, PA. Pronounced LANK-iss-ter, the city is one of the older non-coastal towns in the United States and is known as the Red Rose City. It was originally called Hickory Town before being renamed for the city of the same name in England. The Lancaster County Prison was built in 1737 and remain in use to this day. Fun fact – it housed public hangings until 1912. The first paved road in the United States, opened in 1795, was for the former Philadelphia and Lancaster Turnpike, which is now part of U.S. Route 30. Two of the most common products needed by pioneers in settling the Frontier were manufactured in Lancaster – the Conestoga Wagon (tie-in!), named for the Conestoga River which runs through town, and the Pennsylvania long rifle. The retail chain Woolworth’s was opened in Lancaster by F.W. Woolworth and was one of the most successful chains for most of the 20th century. The name disappeared in the late 90’s and the company now focuses solely on sporting goods as Foot Locker. Inventions credited to Lancaster residents include the battery powered watch and Peeps, the disgusting marshmallow candy. Natives include James Buchanan, the 15th President of the United States; Congressman and abolitionist Thaddeus Stevens; and former MLB player Tom Herr.
Dickinson– Carlisle, PA. The name is locally pronounced with emphasis on the second syllable as apparently Pennsylvanians need to be different. (Note: You already are.) The town motto is “Excellence in Community Service”. Carlisle is home to the U.S. Army War College, which caters to high-level military personnel and civilians and prepares them for strategic leadership responsibilities. An army of the Confederate States of America led by General Fitzhugh Lee, shelled the town on July 1, 1863 during the Gettysburg campaign of the Civil War. One can still see evidence of destruction caused by cannonballs on one column of the historic county courthouse. The town was home to the Carlisle Indian school from 1879 to 1918. The school was operated by the U.S. Government to teach Indian children to reject their heritage and adapt to white society. (Still offensive, but better than small pox blankets.) The school gained fame in 1911 and 1912 as Jim Thorpe led the football team to wins over powerhouses Harvard, Army & Penn. Other notable people include former NBA player Billy Owens; East Carolina men’s basketball coach Jeff Lebo; and James Wilson, a signer of the Declaration of Independence and a major force in the drafting of the U.S. Constitution.
Advantage – Tie. Too close to call – a lot of great history in both cities and I will not choose between James Buchanan and Jim Thorpe.
Notable Alumni
Franklin & Marshall – Michael Dee, CEO of the Miami Dolphins; Ed Flesh, art director who designed the wheel for Wheel of Fortune; Bowie Kuhn, MLB Commissioner from 1969-1984; Spliff Starr, rapper and hypeman for Busta Rhymes; and actor Roy Scheider (Jaws).
Dickinson – Sports agent Leon Rose; Alfred du Pont, head of the du Pont Company (class of 1818); Judy Faulkner, CEO of Epic, who once hired yours truly; MLB executive Andy MacPhail; actor Stuart Pankin (Fatal Attraction, Arachnophobia); Rosie O’Donnell (did not graduate); the aforementioned James Buchanan; and MLB Hall-of-Fame pitcher Chief Bender.
Advantage – Dickinson. Another good category, but I have to go with Jaws, Wheel of Fortune and Busta Rhymes over Rosie, du Pont, and my former boss.
Decision
Dickinson takes this one 3-1-1.
Grand Valley State @ Michigan Tech – Saturday, September 29 @ 5:00 pm CDT
We step outside the state of Pennsylvania for the first time in three games to take a look at our D-II Game of the Week.
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Grand Valley State – Lakers. Lakers won out over Bruisers, Warriors, Bluejays, Ottawas, Archers and Voyagers. Louie the Laker has his own web page.
Michigan Tech – Huskies. But not just any husky, Blizzard T. Husky, who is clearly a crack hound.
Advantage – Lakers. Louie has biceps and sails ships. Blizzard has two teeth and an obvious drug problem.
Best Player Name
Grand Valley State – Tie – Junior DB Suave Lavallis and sophomore DB Bobby Wunderlich, who according to his bio, enjoys sports. He needs this Scrubs homage t-shirt. Shockingly, this guy is a kicker.
Michigan Tech – Tie – Senior WR Ethan Shaver, junior OL Buddy Poljan and freshman DL Conor Cocking.
Advantage – Michigan Tech. They give the Wunderlich test a good Cocking.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Grand Valley State – Running backs coach Eddie Brown had a stellar 13-year career as a WR/DB in the Arena Football League, winning titles in 1991, 1993 and 1995. He was named team MVP for three different organizations and the Buffalo Destroyers renamed their Big Hit Award to the Eddie Brown Award. Collegiately, he played two years at Michigan State after transferring from Grand Rapids Community College. He was a starting WR as a junior in 1989 and a starting DB as a senior in 1990. He coached at Mansfield University before joining GVSU. Honorable mention goes to head coach Matt Mitchell. Mitchell played at Cornell College in Iowa and I am 75% sure he hosted me on a recruiting visit.
Michigan Tech – Head coach Tom Kearly spent 19 years at the D-I level at Central Michigan (too soon!) and offensive line coach David Sartin won three national championships as a player at Mount Union, but the winner is defensive line coach Chuck Klingbeil. Klingbeil starred at Northern Michigan and for the Saskatchewan Roughriders of the CFL before spending five years with the Miami Dolphins. He played in 78 games, starting 65, for the Dolphins from 1991 to 1995. He recorded 242 tackles and 7.5 sacks. On September 22, 1991, he recovered a Green Bay Packer fumble in the end zone for his lone career touchdown. After his TD tied the game at 13 in the 4th quarter, the Dolphins won 16-13 on a Pete Stoyanovich field goal as Dan Marino outdueled Don “Majik Man” Majkowski.
Advantage – Michigan Tech. Even though I think I stayed with GVSU’s head coach on a visit, that doesn’t outweigh Klingbeil’s clutch fumble recovery to help defeat the Majik Man.
Location
Grand Valley State – Allendale, MI. Malta was initially chosen as the name for the township; however when the township was organized in 1849, a state senator changed the name to Allendale, after Agnes Allen, the first person on the tax roll in the area and the widow of Hannibal Allen, who was the son of Revolutionary War hero Ethan Allen. The town is an exurb of Grand Rapids. The town was originally settled in 1842 on the Grand River. Not much information on Wikipedia or the township website, although if you want to be a part of the town’s Planning Commission, call Candy Kraker.
Michigan Tech – Houghton, MI. Houghton is a town on the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and is very isolated from the more populous areas of the state. It is farther to drive from Houghton to Detroit than it is to drive from Detroit to Washington, D.C. The town has been named one of the “100 Best Small Towns in America”. Copper has been mined in area for centuries. When Horace Greeley famously said, “Go West, young man”, he was referring to the Copper Rush in the western part of the Upper Peninsula. The last mines closed in the 1960s, but Michigan Tech, originally known the Michigan College of Mines, remains. The town was the birthplace of professional hockey in the United States when the Portage Lakers were founded in 1903. The town’s sits on the south shore of Portage Lake, hence the name.
Advantage – Houghton in a landslide.
Notable Alumni
Grand Valley State – former MLB pitcher Greg Cadaret; former NFL wide receiver Jeff Chadwick; Dallas Cowboys CB Brandon Carr; screenwriter and director Patrick Sheane Duncan (Mr. Holland’s Opus, Courage Under Fire); Chicago White Sox P Matt Thornton; and Miami Dolphins LB coach Bill Sheridan. It is also worth noting that Michigan head football coach Brady Hoke spent a year on staff at GVSU and Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly was GVSU’s head coach from 1991-2003.
Michigan Tech – former NHL player Tony Esposito; former St. Louis Blues head coach Davis Payne; David Hill, former chief engineer of the Chevrolet Corvette; and Richard Robbins, whose company built 5 of the 6 machines used to dig the Chunnel between Great Britain and France.
Advantage – Michigan Tech. Quality (the Corvette and the Chunnel) over quantity (a bunch of random pro athletes). Plus, Brady Hoke and Brian Kelly are douchebags.
Decision
Michigan Tech is hoping Saturday’s game turns out the same way this preview did, with a big win.
Wisconsin-Stout @ Wisconsin-Eau Claire – Saturday, September 22 @ 1:00 pm CDT
“I-94 Trophy”
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Wisconsin-Stout – Blue Devils. Gross.
Wisconsin-Eau Claire – Blugolds. Eau Claire athletes are referred to as “Blugolds,” a name coined to reflect the school colors, navy blue and old gold. Previous athletic team names include the Normals and the Normalites (because UWEC was founded as the Eau Claire State Normal School), the Blue and Gold Warriors, the Blue and Gold Gridirons, the Zornmen (in honor of Willis L. “Bill” Zorn, basketball and football coach from 1928–1968), the Golden Zornadoes, the Blue and Gold Squad, and the Blugold Squad.
Advantage – Blugolds. I am sad they did not stick with the Golden Zornadoes, but anything beats Blue Devils.
Best Player Name
Wiscosin-Stout – Tie – Freshman RB Dirk Spence and brothers Hank (sophomore QB) and Reggie (freshman TE) Kujak.
Wisconsin-Eau Claire – Tie – Freshman LB Avery Sega and freshman TE Killy Kitzman. Best impersonation of a smarmy Euro – Alex Plaster. Best impersonation of Zach Galifinakis – Josh Albrecht.
Advantage – Eau Claire. When you have a player named Killy and a kicker/punter that looks like that, you win.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Wisconsin-Stout – Honorable mention goes to Travis Destache’s last name and ginger happiness and to Shane Konop’s facial hair but the winner is Bob Thomas. Bob was the head wrestling coach, an assistant football and basketball coach and equipment manager until he retired in 1997. He has been a volunteer football coach ever since, currently mentoring the kickers. He has been inducted into 3 athletic halls of fame (UW-Superior as an athlete, UW-Stout as a coach and the Wisconsin Football Coaches Association). He was head coach of the wrestling team when they won their only national championship and works yearly at the College World Series.
Wisconsin-Eau Claire – Defensive line coach Derrick Swanigan. Swanigan played at Eastern Michigan and William Penn and bears at least a passing resemblance to Big from Rob & Big. A search also revealed that he plays for the Chippewa Valley Predators in the Northern Elite Football League. (NEFL, welcome to MegaBracket.)
Advantage – Eau Claire. Bob Thomas’ 3 Halls of Fame were tough to beat, but Coach Swanigan looks like Big and led me to discover a new event for MB. That’s a winner every time.
Location
Wisconsin-Stout – Menomonie, WI. The city center is located at the south end of Lake Menomin, a resevoir on the Cedar River. The town is named after the Menominee tribe of Native American who lived on the site centuries ago. Menomonie was ranked #15 in Smithsonian Magazine’s “The 20 Best Small Towns in America” from the May 2012 publication. Notable natives and residents include television personality Adam Carolla; former NFL player Tim Krumrie; and Harry Miller, “the greatest creative figure in the history of the American racing car”.
Wisconsin-Eau Claire– Eau Claire, WI. Eau Claire is the 8th largest city in Wisconsin and the largest in the northwest portion of the state. The town’s motto is officially in French and means “Here is clear water”. America’s Promise named the city as one of the 100 Best Communities for Young People in 2007. The lumber industry drove Eau Claire’s growth in the late 19th century. At one time, there were 22 sawmills operating in the city. The Eau Claire Curling Club has been around for over 50 years. Notable natives and residents include Mary Brunner, the girlfriend of Charles Manson; advice columnists Ann Landers and Abigail van Buren; former Wisconsin and Washington State basketball coach Dick Bennett; former NFL WR Bill Schroeder; and former Minnesota Twins pitcher Brad Radke.
Advantage – Eau Claire again. For the Curling Club and Brad Radke.
Notable Alumni
Wisconsin-Stout – Former Montana State football coach Tony Storti, who led the team to its first national championship in 1956; 1976 Summer Olympics wrestling gold medalist John Peterson; Minnesota Twins hitting coach Joe Vavra; and Evansville women’s basketball head coach Oties Epps.
Wisconsin-Eau Claire – Justin Vernon, founder and lead singer of Bon Iver; actress Laila Robbins (Steve Martin’s wife in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles); actor Mark Proksch (Dwight’s handyman Nate on The Office); Kato Kaelin, witness in the O.J. Simpson trial; NASCAR driver Paul Menard; and John Menard Jr., the founder of Menard’s.
Advantage – Eau Claire once again. Kato Kaelin, the Menard family and the wife from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is more than enough to beat out the Twins hitting coach.
Decision
In what I believe is the first shutout of the year Eau Claire rolls 5-0. The lesson – don’t name your team the Blue Devils.
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